Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Three people in their 20s are outside of Commodore on 17th Street: 

“D.C’s like the Paris of the U.S. with the holidays. Everyone wants to get the fuck out.”

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Celebrate the little victories

A 40-something woman is walking in Rock Creek Park talking on the phone: 

“Well, today WAS orange chicken day, so at least that’s how the week ended.”

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Sounds…bad

A man having a really good night at Copperwood Tavern in Shirlington:

“The speakers on my Prius were just blasting, and 15 seconds later, I get pulled over going 62 in 25.”

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Maybe that’s her one stress reliever

A couple in their late 20s is walking down a Woodley Park neighborhood street talking, presumably, about a friend of theirs:

Woman: “She- she’s stressed because–”
Man, interrupting: “Well maybe she should stop cheating on her boyfriend…”

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This tracks 

Overheard in a women’s bathroom at a country music concert at the Wharf:

“I love him for you… (Happily) No, he’s a moderate!”

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Hey, eye care is expensive

One girl approaching another girl on the Georgetown campus on Sunday: 

Girl 1: “Hey!”
Girl 2: (squinting) “Oh hi. Sorry, I have really bad eyesight.”
Girl 1: “I can tell. Are you wearing contacts?”
Girl 2: “No.”
Girl 1: “Do you usually wear contacts?”
Girl 2: “No.”
Girl 1: “Do you have glasses?”
Girl 2: “No.”
Girl 1: “So you just let that happen?”
Girl 2: “Yeah.”

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If you love something, let it go

A man and woman are entering the Columbia Heights Metro turnstiles early Friday evening, and he’s walking several feet behind her:

He calls out to her: “I’m a changed man!”

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Lucy would be proud

A neatly-bearded 30-year old guy to his friends leaving the Lucy Dacus show at the 9:30 Club:

“Being a late Millennial means you’re old enough to know what a VHS is, but still young enough to be out at midnight on a Saturday night.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.