Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

A young couple is walking along Q Street near Shaw. The mother is holding an in-costume toddler: 

Dad, cooing to toddler: “Oh look how scary a monster you are, are you being scary!” (One second later) “No! No hitting! No hitting!”

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Oct. 14, 2016: Oh, Metro

Overheard on a Northbound Green line train, 5:15-ish: 

Train Operator: “Uhh, they got a train having a problem up at College Park on the opposite side. They’re telling me to hold here. I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be a while for them to set up single tracking. Ugh, it’s gonna be a mess.”

Later, with a heavy sigh: “Nice. Pretty train messed up the whole railroad.”

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Nov 4. 2016: Halloween BOGO

A woman with two vibrating Durex rings and a bag of Halloween candy is checking out at CVS: 

CVS cashier: “You know those are buy one, get one free.”
Woman says happily: “I know, that’s why I bought two!”
CVS cashier: “Uhhhh, I was talking about the Halloween candy.”
Woman: “Oh right, ok, I’ll get two of those too!”

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Nov. 8, 2019: Examining the concept of D.C.-hot 

Two women are sitting in the H Street NE Whole Foods eating area, discussing dating:

One woman: “He had a good job but there wasn’t much else there. He was D.C.-hot. Do you know what I mean?”

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Nov. 8, 2019: Basically nailed it

On Friday, on a bus near the George Washington University campus

Seemingly college or grad student on the phone: “The Washington baseball team won the nationals or something and I think there’s a parade tomorrow.”

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Nov. 13, 2020: A climactic weekend

A man is talking on the phone about the results of the 2020 election in Van Ness: 

“It was drawn out, ya know? It was like an orgasm that wouldn’t happen.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.