Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Guy to his friend while walking down East Capitol after the Rock n Roll marathon, pointing to a very abandoned RFK:

“That’s where United plays.”

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Narrator: He did not “get more girls”

A group of men in their 20s are standing on a sidewalk in Brookland:

One man: “You’re just mad I get more girls than you because I use chicken fat as lotion.”
*The other men did not agree*

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Sorry, overheard at a what? 

Overheard at an infrastructure happy hour at Hamilton’s on 2nd Street NW:

A married 30-something man to a 20-something woman dithering over her reply to someone on Tinder: “Republican women are always looking for their second husband.”

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Trying to make friends after the pandemic like

At the Redeye Night Market, a woman in her 20s is following another woman through the lines:

First woman: “Where are we going?”
Other woman: “I don’t even know your name.”

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Not ready for the open mic night quite yet

A Jaguar SUV is perched on the sidewalk in front of the Crown Gas on Florida and Vermont, at 11:30pm on a Friday. There’s a bunch of people hanging out around the car, it’s a party. A guy walks around the car and looks into the back seat at someone inside the car.

Guy: “She’s a sweetie! She makes kissy while she eaty.”
Guy waits a beat to see if anyone’s watching, stops awkwardly, and starts again.
Guy: “She’s a sweetie! She makes kissy while she eaty.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.