Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world in a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Four friends in their 30s are dining outside at Bistro Cacao in Capitol Hill: 

Woman 1: “So you’re a Capricorn, right?”
Man 1: “Yeah.”
Woman 2: “What does that mean, exactly?”
Man 1: “A pain in the ass.”

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Maybe that’s just how GW smells 

Three or four teenagers join an elevator in a George Washington University building, just before the doors closed. Awkward silence for at least two floors—maybe three. Then, one of the young men says:

“Damn! Somebody’s breath be tellin’ a story.”

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Anywhere else, go for it

Outside of Stellina Pizzeria in Union Market, two parents and their child, age around age 2, walk by a locked cage of propane tanks: 

Dad: “Look sweetie, that sign says DANGER! FLAMMABLE. Make sure you don’t smoke any cigarettes near those, okay?”

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We get it, you think you’re funny

A man is talking to a woman just outside the Union Market Trader Joe’s: 

Him: “Is it legal to send things I said myself in to Overheard in DC?”
Her: “Oh, I’m sure people do it all the time.”

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Feb. 12, 2021: When snow finally falls in D.C.

A couple walks past the tennis court on 18th Street in Adams Morgan after the first snowfall:

Man: “One pee and that court is ruined.”

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Feb. 14, 2020: It’s that time of year again

One female coworker to another, in their office on Valentine’s Day:

Coworker: “You can’t break up at Ben’s Chili Bowl, it’s a sacred place. So I’ll either ask to go somewhere else, or I’ll just hold on the conversation because I do want a chili dog.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.