Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world in a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

On a flight from Orlando to DCA, a flight attendant asks a passenger to store her long, oddly-shaped luggage in the overhead bin:

Flight attendant: “What’s in there, anyway?”
Passenger: “Just, like, my lightsaber.”
Flight attendant: “Are those even legal in D.C.?”

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Pitch: column solely for Columbia Heights Target Overheards 

A mid-20s guy is talking on the phone at the Columbia Heights Target: 

“You remember that Payphone song by Maroon 5? It’s playing right now, I love this song! This song slaps!”

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Probably still $50 for that RPP 

Near midnight at Rocket Bar, a group of late 20s – early 30s friends are having drinks: 

One guy yelling to the rest of the group: “For $1.3 mill, that s**t better have parking!!!!”

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It could be…both

A group of four women are celebrating a chilly birthday on the outdoor patio at Iron Gate:

One to all the others: “I can’t tell whether I have long covid, or if I’m just old and tired.”

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They will not be silenced 

A woman is walking her calm, peaceful dog past two loud, barking dogs:

Woman, sighing, to her own dog: “Everybody’s got a fucking opinion.”

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A star-crossed bathroom break

Two women in the bathroom at the Kacey Musgraves concert, one outside her friend’s(?) stall: 

Woman: “Hurry up, we’re missing the show! (More loudly) God, you’re taking SO long, get your shit together! Hurry the fuck up, you’re being so rude, I’m so mad at you!”

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Gross 

A student to a school administrator at St. Albans School in D.C.: 

Student: “Do you have an extra mask I can use?”
Administrator: “What’s wrong with the one you’re wearing?”
Student: “It was in my gym bag and it smells bad.”

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This sounds bad! 

A man walking on the sidewalk on the GWU campus, talking on the phone:

“This might be a problem. It’s like, we don’t need the police there for a squirrel.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.