Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world in a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Overheard at SUNdeVICH: 

“I think I’m the perfect person because I’m an expert in cheese.”

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To be so confidently wrong, part ???

Three young adults, maybe in their 20s, are on scooters at the Reflecting Pool on a Wednesday afternoon: 

Confident-sounding man to woman behind him: “That’s a koi pond.”

—

Not quite

A gaggle of clean-cut late 20 or 30s men are walking past the Treasury on Pennsylvania Avenue: 

One of them: “Yeah, Old Ebbitt Grill. He wrote it down for me. Said it was like the oldest tavern in America.”

—

Someone’s been sipping Shailene Woodley’s moon juice 

Overheard near 18th and Columbia, a group of gay men stumbling after brunch: 

“I have to start sunbathing my asshole.”

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So it goes 

Overheard at the Ellipse: 

Woman: “As always, the government is just using whatever science makes them the most money.”
Man: “That’s because they’re using political science not medical science.”

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“I couldn’t help wonder … am I aging?”

Two early 20-something gay guys are crossing 14th street in Logan Circle on a Friday night: 

First Guy: “You know Carrie Bradshaw would be in her mid-50s”
Second Guy: “Gasp!” *very audibly gasps*

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.