Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Early 30s is man talking to an early 30s woman on Maryland Avenue in Northeast. They’re both in workout clothes with sweat, likely having just finished a park workout or run:

“I don’t even care. You know what? Today is amazing weather. I’m gonna have tacos and I’m going to enjoy it.”

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You could say that about a lot of things 

Two GW Law students overheard talking in Adams Morgan: 

Student 1: “I feel like law school is a constant tension between everything matters and nothing matters.”
Student 2: *nods vigorously*

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A woman who knows what she wants 

At The Wharf, a woman in her 60s is loudly speaking on her cell phone to someone waiting in line at another food purveyor nearby: 

“The falafel shop ran out of sauce. I’m not going to eat falafel without sauce. So stay in line, I’ll be there shortly.”
Thirty seconds later, young couple quoting woman: “I ain’t eating falafel without no sauce”

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S’cute

Outside the O street museum, a dad is with his daughter and a pair of scooters:

Dad: “Honey, it’s time to scoot!”

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Who doesn’t! 

An early 20s, bro-looking guy and early 20s woman in Lululemon are walking on the Billy Goat Trail: 

Him: “So, we were in Curacao. And you know how bad the drivers are in Curacao, right?”

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Like looking in a mirror

Middle-aged white man to a middle-aged white woman on the sidewalk one evening, a group of runners having passed them:

“Oh yeah, white girls jogging. That’s one of the best signs of gentrification.”

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Why do I feel like I just read a screenplay

Four college-aged guys are riding the Circulator bus toward Georgetown: 

Curly-haired bro (to group): “Yea, she just got back from Bogota.”
A bro wearing a “Virginity Rocks” t-shirt: “Oh, that’s, like, in Europe, right?”
*Curly-haired bro and a basketball player bro look at each other, start cracking up, ask virginity bro if he was serious. He was, obliviously.*
Basketball bro: “Dude, Bogota’s in Colombia.”
Virginity bro: “Oh, right, right — I’ve been there. That’s in Maryland.”
*All three bros laugh uproariously.*
Curly-haired bro: “Nah bro, Colombia’s in South America.”
Virginity bro, getting defensive: “Dude — dude! In Virginia, they didn’t teach us geography, OK? They taught us politics.”

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There’s some metaphor here

Two women in their mid 30s, clearly old friends, catching up over many drinks at Lucky Buns in Adams Morgan:

Woman 1: “I’m on the search for a husband.”
Woman 2: “Really, not a plant?”
Woman 1: “You’re right, I’d rather have a plant.”
*later in the conversation*
Woman 1: “I’ll just water the plant every other day!”
Woman 2: “That’s way too much, you’ll kill it!”
Woman 1: “I need something that can be over-nurtured, a husband or a plant!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.