Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

A young woman is on her phone outside the Woodley Park CVS:

“Does she know she smells? Did anyone tell her? She needs to be aware.”

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A gracious loser

Two women in their late twenties were jogging toward Adams Morgan on the Duke Ellington Bridge:

Woman: “He doesn’t run anymore. He only goes for the party.”
(Pause.)
“I mean, he doesn’t run for office anymore. He only goes to support the party.”

—

But what about living in D.C’s state of mind?

A teen to her mother in Northwest D.C.:

“I can’t imagine living in an actual state…and not D.C.”

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Friends in high places

An attractive, fit couple is dining with their late teens daughter at a ramen restaurant in Annandale. They’ve been discussing geopolitics and avoiding their cellphones, but eventually the mother checks her phone: 

Mother: “Oh! It’s my friend Shankar Vedantam!”

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Close enough

Friday night at Jinya Ramen Bar in Logan Circle, a middle-aged father and his adolescent son are eating. At one point the father pulls their server aside:

Father: “We are from out of town. What neighborhood are we in right now?”
Server, with great confidence: “Shaw. And the next neighborhood up is Columbia Heights.”
*Father and son nod enthusiastically.*

—

Local Man Confronts Slight Inconvenience

At the home opener of DC United at Audi Field, there was one area that had a long line for the men’s restroom:

A guy in line: “I thought having to pee a lot was a female thing.”

—

Sharing is caring

Overheard downtown, near the FBI headquarters:

“Why do you have to be so difficult, can I have a piece of gum?”

—

Only geriatric millennials allowed on the Hill! 

Mid-20s couple in the elevator of an H Street NE building:

“I really love Capitol Hill, but I feel like that ages us five years.”

—

Should we be scared of this?

Two 30-something dudes are waiting in line at the Columbia Heights Wells Fargo, discussing their Target run needs on a Saturday morning:

Dude One: “Deodorant, bins, American flag, check-holding birthday card, and a bike helmet.”
Dude Two: “Okay. Let’s look for them in that exact order.”

—

Don’t wanna know who ended up being on the other end 

A trio of 13-14 year old boys walking along Bradley Blvd. in Bethesda: 

“Hey Siri, call Zaddy.”

—

Please clap

A man in his 60s is waiting outside a store on M Street in Georgetown on a Friday afternoon. His wife emerges from a store:

Wife: “I’m so proud of myself. I went in and I didn’t buy anything. Not a thing!”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.