Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world after more than a year of a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

A group of friends outside of Penn Social, on their way to or from a bar: 

Man: “I’m really 22, despite the hairline!”

—

Put him in a writers room immediately

Two moms and two kids walking up 30th St. NW. Mom says something inaudible.

Young 6-7ish boy: “Dumbarton? Is Barton dumb?”

—

Someone’s already had a little, methinks

On the last day of a week of free medical marijuana license registration for seniors in D.C., a room full of seniors renewing their licenses, with a single clerk who occasionally calls names. After some time, she calls a name. An elderly gentleman goes up to her table, and she explains that she is giving him his new medical marijuana card.

Man: “Say what!”
Clerk: “With this card you can buy marijuana.”
Man: “Legally?”
Clerk: “Yes, at these dispensaries in the city.”
Man: “THIS IS THE LUCKIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.”
10 minutes later, the man continues: “I’m telling you this is the luckiest day of my life!”

—

Non-state probs

A 30-ish man and woman are talking on 13th Street near Florida Avenue, just after the Senate voted to make Daylight Saving Time permanent.

Man: “The evening sunlight is great but I guess we still need the House to vote on it.”
Woman: “Lobby your representatives! Or, well … lobby your parents to lobby their representatives.”

—

Hashtag relatable

Apartment concierge talking to a resident who looks visibly tired:

Concierge: “Good morning. How are you doing today?”
Resident: “The minimum.”

—

*swirly-eye emoji* 

Georgetown student (probably) to his friend, while jogging past the local Sweetgreen: 

“BRO — their warm bowls are so great I bought a ton of their stock. Support local business.”

–

Hey, cut yourselves a break

Two parents walking with their young children in Adams Morgan:

Wife: “I think it’s partially daylight savings and partially our own errors that screwed up sleep for today.”
Husband: “Honestly, probably more the latter.”

–

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.