Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

Girl (age 6-ish) walking to school in Adams Morgan. It’s 8:45am with 80% humidity and a “real feel” of 90 degrees.

Girl, with an air of exasperation, to her friend: “Gosh, it’s all just so icky.”

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Dirty diapers , dirty texts, both equally stressful issues

Two friends in their 30s in Georgetown:

Friend 1, seemingly bored and unimpressed: “I don’t know, he just keeps sending me these super sexy text messages.”
Friend 2, lovingly: “My life consists of cleaning up children’s bodily messes in every room of my house. Maybe your sexy text messages are not too much of a problem?”

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Um…that’s one way to put it

On board a Branch Avenue bound 7000-series car:

Young woman to her parents: “These are the new Metro cars that came out very recently.”

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New book series: You Take A Boomer To A Beer Garden

A boomer walks into the new Aslin beer garden in Logan Circle with her granddaughter. Looks around and frowns: 

“Very millennial place.”

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Guess we know who’s paying for the membership

Overheard walking next to Eastern Market:

Older man: “That’s where my daughter works out all the time, Orange Therapy.”
Younger man: “It’s Orange Theory, actually.”
Older man: “Well it’s as expensive as therapy.”

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Marx is shaking

A family is discussing whether to order multiple desserts or share a single dessert inside Founding Farmers DC: 

Mother, pointing to father, son, and daughter: “You’re sharing. You’re sharing. And you’re sharing.”
Son: “I object! Sharing creates unnecessary conflict!”

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Sources close to BA5 are saying…everywhere

A guy on his phone, being jostled between standing passengers on an extremely crowded Red Line Metro train: 

“I know everyone’s been talking about Omicron 5. Did he say where the variant is right now?”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.