Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

A young woman, holding a frisbee, to her spaniel-looking pup as they walk in Malcolm X Park:

“No, frisbee is a privilege, not a right.” 

—

Two kinds of ice cold, dang

Two young women at Rehoboth Beach Boardwalk, about 19 or 20 years old sitting together on a bench and eating ice cream.

Woman 1 (in a deadpan voice): “I feel like I’m nothing without my eyelashes.”

Woman 2 (with even less inflection): “True.”

—

You’ve been warned

Silver Spring playground at lunchtime:

Little boy (about 5) to stranger: “Look, I can swing across here with just one hand.”

Mom: “If you fall, I am not taking you to the hospital.”

—

Is this the start of Congressional trading cards?

Thursday night at Federalist Pig in Columbia Heights at a table full of thirty-somethings.

 Guy, to the entire table: “AOC’s business card goes for $50 on EBay, so I sent my intern in to get a stack.” 

–—

She’s just being real

Thursday evening in Navy Yard a woman sees a man walking toward her on the sidewalk, smiles big, dramatically drops her bag on the ground, runs toward him as fast as her platform shoes allow, and jumps into his arms. They hug tightly for a minute. Then…

Woman: “Uhhh, you smell like onions.”

—

The future seismologist we all need

Evening time in Columbia, MD getting food at local Whole Foods during intermission of an Incubus concert.

An 8-ish year old to his mom: “Oh, mommy, I get it now. An Earthquake is the Earth having a headache”

—

As in Scott-King?! And Cruz?!

A man walking his dog while talking on the phone in Mt Pleasant:

 “How would they fight?

“Well, Coretta would just see Penelope in the thing, and Coretta would just sit on Penelope” 

—

We know someone you might get along with

A 30-something couple overheard on M Street in Georgetown:

Woman: “WE’RE in a recession?”

Man: “Not me!” *laughing*

—

You can’t glow up without a cringe phase

22-year old at a rooftop pool in Chinatown: 

“I just have like PTSD from Catholic school where they’d make me wear turtle necks.”

Annoyed friend: “That’s not PTSD; that’s just a bad memory.”

_

Not suspicious at all

At a restaurant bar in Bethany beach, one member of the kitchen staff says to another:

“Hey, do you want to see a picture of something awesome?”

Pause.

“It’s not a body.”

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.