The islanders are in Fiji this season.

LynnS / Flickr

Like a Red Line train running on time or a tortilla chip that’s hiding a second chip within its fold, it is a rare treat when a D.C. local appears on the big (or small) screen. Even rarer is when that local is a charismatic 23-year-old and that screen is a reality dating show known for its absurd premise and general debauchery.

ICYMI, which you very well may have, the fifth season of Love Island USA premiered on Peacock last night, and Keenan Anunay, originally from Northeast D.C., is one of ten singles hoping to find love this summer.

According to his bio, Keenan is a 23-year-old student from Washington D.C. who once called a woman out for catfishing him. (I am choosing to believe he’s using the term “catfishing” to reference the actual act of lying about your identity, and not describing a situation in which he saw a woman in real life and pointed out that she looked slightly different than in an Instagram post.)

He boasts 39,000 followers on his Instagram account, where my two DMs asking to chat with him sit unread in his inbox. The page contains mostly football highlights from Morehouse College, where he plays wide receiver.

I’m not sure how many residents actually tuned in to watch this hometown hero, or if they even knew a D.C. man was on the show, or if they’ve even heard of Love Island at all. The show, which originated in the U.K., does have its devotees, however, and they will tell you — in an Essex accent — that the British version is categorically better. The U.K. show is in its 10th season and has become a cultural phenomenon there in a way no American reality television show ever has or frankly ever could here. It’d be like if we stripped The Bachelor of its Christian underpinnings and pumped it full of more sex and swearing, and somehow every episode also included the Superbowl, and then it aired six days a week for the entire summer.

While the British show tamped down on the drinking and smoking after the House of Lords started asking questions, its appeal still lies heavily in what The New Yorker called its “glorious depravity.” When the U.S. version launched in 2019, the season fell flat; in comparison to the U.K. singles, the U.S. islanders were too boring and buttoned-up, partially inhibited by American regulations on how horny you can be on cable television. (Before Peacock, it aired on CBS).

With the move to streaming last season, the USA show has gained the freedom to be a bit crasser and leave swears un-bleeped, but in most ways (especially in the accent department) it can’t compete where it can’t compare.

So this is how this works: As of Tuesday night, episodes of Love Island USA will be airing six days a week (yes, really) for six weeks. Ten single contestants will pair off and attempt to stay together for that time as producers drop in “bombshells” (interlopers meant to test a relationship’s durability in the face of temptation), or otherwise manufacture conflict to drum up tears and tantrums.

At the end of the season, the American people, exercising their democratic liberties, vote for which couple they want to win $100,000. Once the winning couple is announced, each person in the couple is handed an envelope, but only one of them contains the money. The person who opens that envelope either chooses to walk away $100,000 richer or share it with their partner as a testament to their relationship. And to think, we get to be a part of this! (Our in-house Love Island expert claims no one has ever kept all the money for themselves.)

As for D.C.’s contestant Keenan, not much was available on the internet about him going into the premiere. In a two-minute-48-second trailer that could appear as a primary source in a gender and sexuality studies course, the 10 islanders give a brief introduction of themselves and their reasons for coming on the show. Several of the bikini-clad women use that time to talk about what they do for work, establishing “yes I am a hot woman with a brain!” before saying something like “and I’m absolutely fucking feral!”

Meanwhile, the men, all sculpted and muscular, shirtless or close to it, list off their physical attributes (literally their height or weight) and address the question they know we’re all thinking: how is he still single?!

Keenan tastefully straddles both play styles: “Football has been everything for the majority of my life, I’m on a dog on and off the field.” He elaborates: “If I let these dogs loose when it comes to chasing these girls… I go after what I want.”

And that’s about all we know about Keenan before going into night one.

The episode begins with a weird Cast Away-esque skit of host and Geek Charming star Sarah Hyland crawling around the sand before ending up at the villa — a grotesquely pop-y estate in Fiji full of primary colors, white tile, and more than 50 neon signs ranging in sentiment; a calming “Breathe,” a motivational “Rise and Grind” and an unsettling phrase that I’m not sure has ever appeared in cursive script before, “Show Me Your Rizz.” 

The women arrive first, starting with Anna and Kay Kay. Kay Kay, who is 24 years old, says she’s been single forever and that this show is literally her last option. Anna (23), meanwhile, has been single for 2.5 years and has packed a wedding dress in her bag just in case. The last woman to enter is trauma nurse Jasmine, who makes a joke about an extended period of celibacy that is not fit to print.

Next up is the pairing process. Hyland tells the women they’ll be playing “The Twist,” an overly complicated game in which the men are dropped in one by one, and the women have to decide if they find him attractive enough to pair up with. Once a woman decides to stand next to a guy, she can either leave him for a newcomer of equal or greater value, or she can stay and hope he wants her as his match.

So the five men are dropped in, one by one. Keenan joins fourth, after Game of Thrones extra Victor ends up alone following his entrance, and two women abandon Leonardo for Personified Fuckboy Emoji Marco.

In his more expanded intro package, we learn that Keenan is, indeed, from Washington, D.C. and he is currently a journalism! major! (guest columnist maybe?!). In keeping with this dog thing, he says his nickname is K9 and he loves pleasing women. As he bounces down to the group in bright green 5-inch-inseam shorts, he does admittedly match the energy of a puppy quite well. He seems like he’s a jokester of the group, giving Victor an empathetic “sorry bro” nod when he realizes that no women stepped forward for him.

Kay Kay steps forward, leaving her current post with Leonardo to join Keenan.  He kisses her hand and then nonchalantly wraps an arm around her waist, saying something a bit breathy like, “You know I was looking at you.”

And honestly, it was absolutely electric…the passion.  Kay Kay and Keenan stood with their arms around each other for the rest of the coupling game, clearly the most confident chemistry pairing. Bergie, the fifth man enters after Keenan. The couples are sorted and ready to start doing whatever it is they will be doing for the next 40-some days.

In their first Real Chat, Keenan says he already feels butterflies. When he asks Kay Kay what made her leave the circle where she stood with Leonardo, she says it’s because her heart skipped a beat when she saw him.

“I felt the energy… I would’ve entered [your] heart one way or another,” Keenan tells her in a conversation in which he is staring holes in her lips and complimenting her makeup. Sparks flying!

As the episode continues, it’s pretty clear that Keenan and Kay Kay are one of the strongest pairs — meaning they actually seem to somewhat like each other. They are the first to kiss, which Kay Kay described as “passionate, but nasty.” (I have written in my notes “a lot of tongue involved” but I’m not sure if that’s her observation or mine.) The show ends with Bergie being sent home, but then immediately brought back, sort of? I don’t know. At this point in the evening, my ability to hold multiple narratives in my head was waning.

Keenan and Kay Kay, in my early prediction, are steadfast and focused. I could see Keenan’s charm offensive becoming a bit problematic when the bombshells are dropped in, but if neither he nor Kay Kay turn their heads, I think they could walk away the winners. Sadly, if you want to know you will simply have to watch the show: DCist/WAMU (and this author personally) do not have the bandwidth to dedicate to daily episode recaps.

Filed Under: Arts and Culture, curiosities, d.c., dc, love island,