Drug-dealing pandas, popes fighting the war on cars, aurora borealis in the culture wars: A farewell to the free tabloid and its zany covers.

If you caught a glimpse of the Examiner, you’d probably walk away thinking that Pope Benedict hated D.C. traffic.

The Examiner produces reliable local journalism, but it also produces front pages that oddly juxtapose headlines against unrelated images. The results are often ironically hilarious.

>> The Capitol Christmas Tree lighting ceremony is scheduled to take place at 5 p.m. this evening on the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. >> Washington-area writers Michelle Brafman, Merle Collins, T. Greenwood, Joanne Leedom-Ackerman, Faye Moskowitz, Barbara Mujica, Jessica Neely, Amy Stolls, Hananah Zaheer, and Christy J. Zink will be at Politics and Prose to read from their contributions to the latest anthology, Electric Grace: Still More Fiction by Washington Area Women….

>> The hippest bill tonight is new Saddle Creek Records artists Tokyo Police Club, a pop-rocking group of Canadians who will bring their catchy tunes to the Rock and Roll Hotel tonight to play with Ra Ra Riot, and D.C.’s Jukebox the Ghost. 9 p.m., $12. >> Band of Horses take the 9:30 Club stage tonight, and tickets are still available. Check out our review of their show at the Black Cat last year….

With Congress in recess, it’s officially the August doldrums here at Reader, Meet Author. If you have any tips, feel free to drop us a line. Otherwise, read some good books and stay cool. MONDAY: Pushcart Prize-winning author Katherine Taylor will be at Olsson’s Books & Records in Dupont Circle to talk about her debut novel Rules for Saying Goodbye, a coming-of-age tale that straddles the line between fiction and non-fiction. 7 p.m. TUESDAY: Man…

FRIDAY: >> Post-punk concept albums make us all weak in the knees, so you can bet we’ll be out for The Thermals at the Black Cat tonight. With The Big Sleep and Statehood. $12, 9 p.m. >> It’s the last weekend to check out Forum Theater and Dance’s production Kid-Simple, a “live-action radio play” about a young prodigy who invents a machine that hears things humans never could discern, and when it is stolen, takes…

>> Mark this day, D.C. It took a full 37 days for us to use the “Marion Barry in trouble with the law again” keystroke in 2007. Federal prosecutors are asking that the Councilman’s probation in his tax-evasion case be revoked. They say Barry has failed to meet the terms of his plea agreement by not paying back taxes and not filing again in 2005. After being convicted on federal charges of not paying…

After a hiatus for the month of July, the National Science Foundation’s popular Cafe Scientifique (Arlington) is back. August’s cafe speaker will be geologist Dr. Tom Wagner, under the topic heading “From Dust to Us: a Brief History of the Earth and Moon”. Dr. Wagner is a lead scientist for NSF’s Antarctic Geology program and an expert in volcanoes, climate, and Antarctica, among other things. And how often do we get to talk about things…

Following up their popular May event, Sarah Goforth, Mary Hanson and the folks at the National Science Foundation will be holding their monthly Café Scientifique out in Ballston at The Front Page. Neuroscientist Kathie Olsen will be expounding under the evening’s heading of Your Phantasmagorical Brain!. As the Beltway is a rather loquacious place, it’s the more verbal left side of the brain that usually gets a workout around these parts. For those who…