Meet your new Uber Eats delivery guy. He has six wheels.

Please be a benevolent overlord.

Guillermo del Toro’s blockbuster provides plenty of spectacle, but the characters who inhabit it are, despite their Shakespearean airs, not vivid enough for you to care beyond the wow factor. But there is a wow factor.

Today on Adventures in Craigslist: Sounds like a can’t miss. The full ad (I swear, I didn’t make any of this up): DROIDSTER is a action/drama short set in Columbia Heights, DC. Robot hipsters are operating out of basements in the neighborhood, abducting unsuspecting preppies and turning their insides into oily mechanics. These aren’t your father’s evil robots, however — they ride fixed gear bikes, wear skinny jeans, jeggings, christmas socks, and big sunglasses. They…

Yeah, yeah, we all had a good laugh at the hipster on Judge Judy who admitted his “love for smashin’ stuff,” but, admit it: you have, at one time or another, had similar frustrations to reign total control over the various electronics in your life, a frustration which may or may not have manifested itself via violence. With the understanding that those who possess such an ability to control the machines will be our most…

Those evil-natured robots, they’re programmed to destory us. But some of them want to evolve beyond their initial programming, like, say, a puny human raised in a dysfunctional family. There’s really no easy way to summarize Open Drawer Theatre Company’s apeshit hilarious Please Listen: A Musical Chaos that won’t make it sound terrible. Musical parodies are a Fringe staple, but they’re a bitch to pull off: Aside from the fact that the stage musical…

Last night, a friend explained to me something I already knew: This Facebook terms-of-service kerfuffle was much ado about nothing. What, exactly, did Fbers think would happen? Facebook would assume control of the world’s supply of 25 things? And this move wouldn’t pave the way for the next Myfacester? There was no use taking the news seriously, but news it was: on Twitter, on blogs, on away messages, and of course, on Facebook. And…