Washingtonian magazine wants you to know: teens are smoking pot. Their sprawling article on pot use by even “honors” teens from their November edition, is what this week’s City Paper has blasted as a “classic contribution to America’s tradition of drug-use hysteria.” The story is rife with breathlessly told stories of drug use among teens:

A box of Phillies blunts is empty on the kitchen counter of a nice house in Bethesda. Beside it is a can of Lysol and some empty Bud Light cans. The crowd in the kitchen is watching a beer-pong game. Red plastic cups are half-filled with Corona, a step up from what Keith and his friends usually drink. What you’re drinking isn’t as important as how fast you get the ball into your opponent’s cup.

It’s a warm night, and a few partygoers are funneling beers on the back porch. The hosts’ parents are out of town. One guest pours a Coors Light into the top of a funnel while another wraps his mouth around the end of the long thin tube. It’s a form of chugging. Girls are smoking cigarettes.
…
The tall guy moves to the living room, sits on a couch, and breaks up his bud on the coffee table. He fills a blunt while a few people watch and wait to share it. He tries to seal the blunt back together with saliva. Beer pong resumes with a new 30-pack.

Earlier today the story was picked up by the group blog MetaFilter, where it was subject to a gleeful dissection by dozens of commenters. “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” writes one sober observer who said he was reminded of “my friends and I in 1979. Except that we drank lots of beer and wine too.” The Washingtonian story comes complete with a sidebar, “How can you tell if your son or daughter smokes pot?” The list resembles what one DCist acquaintance pointed out basically describes being a teenager, including “The desire to sleep a lot,” “Lots of time spent alone on the computer or playing video games,” and “Extra concern for privacy.”

In a disclaimer, the magazine assures us, “in reporting the story, the author neither participated in nor witnessed the use or distribution of marijuana or any other illegal drug.” Phew, we were worried there for a minute. This whole episode is beginning to make us wonder what they meant when they called some D.C. blogs addictive.