For those of us who compulsively pore over world almanacs, sports record books, and specialty dictionaries to extricate facts, numbers, and lists that double as security blankets, the Washington Post’s “District Extra” section is a treasure trove. The District Extra is one of many local sections that the Post issues each Thursday to convince its area readers that the very national hometown newspaper is, well, keeping it real.

But the Raymond Babbitt in us skips the community features (we prefer DCist for our local news, anyway) and dutifully heads straight for hard facts: Home Sales, Crime Report, and School Menus. And with no thought of how we take great comfort in rigidity, the Post has replaced much of today’s District Extra with a special Guide feature — one that fails to include Home Sales, Crime Report and School Menus. Until next week’s regularly scheduled Extra returns, we are rudderless. There is no Wapner, no Jeopardy.

To ward off compulsive rocking, we must issue a lament. Home Sales serves up list upon glorious list of prices paid for condos and houses in the District. For its part, the Crime Report quaintly breaks down recent crime into perfect lists by District quadrant. As if the alleged perps are regular Moonlight Grahams debating whether to cross one of the Capitol Streets to save little Karin. And School Menus lists the upcoming week’s school lunch menus in the District’s Head Start program and in its elementary and secondary schools.

If you regularly follow the goings-on in Lunchlady Land, you’ll inevitably find on the weekly menu the hot dog on which little Karin choked. Sure, the usual old-school suspects pop up. Milk is available with every lunch in D.C. schools. “Fruited gelatin,” mixed vegetables, Salisbury steak — they’re all starters here (the school-lunch veterans in us are sorry to report that “mystery meat” and “rainbow dogs” seem to have retired).