Are you a colon-person? Or perhaps more of a fireman’s carry-type? Author Evany Thomas has distinguished thirty-nine different sleeping positions, which, according to Thomas, can unlock the secrets to your personality and relationships. Joined by Dustin Long, reading from his new Nordic mystery novel, Icelander, Thomas will be at Olsson’s in Dupont Circle on Monday reading from The Secret Language of Sleep: a Couple’s Guide to Thirty-Nine Positions. Both books are published by Dave Eggers’ McSweeney’s, the literary empire we either love to hate or hate to love (which is it, again?).

Like other recent McSweeney’s publications, such as last Christmas’s stocking-stuffer How To Dress for Every Occasion by the Pope, The Secret Language falls in the nebulous terrain between snarky coffee table book and sincere guide. To find out which it is, I suggest you ask the author.

Can’t make it Monday night? You can take the online quiz now to find out your sleep pose and what it says about you. Though I’m not sure how my opinions on fresh spray paint are an indication of my preferred sleep position, I have to admit the results were eerily accurate.

At Olsson’s in Dupont Circle, Monday, June 5, 7 p.m.