Yesterday, we received an e-mail that nearly fell to its death in the spam filter. Hidden among Nigerian flim-flam scams, phishing attempts, and advertisements for products purporting to be able to enlarge our manhood (this morning’s: “Does 8 incches enough 4 U?”) was a message advising us that DC Style magazine seemed to be holding a “10 Hottest Chefs in DC” competition.

First thing that sprang to mind? Glamour shots of cooking hotties sporting nothing but chef’s whites. A foodie version of FishbowlDC’s Hottest Media Types competition or The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful list. You know, one in a long line of the lascivious contests that pop up in the District media when the summer hits and news dries up. Good old nasty, judgmental fun.

But upon reading the e-mail, it became clear that we were a victim of false advertising. This is no beauty contest. Rather, DC Style — the very magazine that takes pride in focusing on looks over substance — is holding a public vote to determine the 10 best chefs in the Washington area. And they’re casting this contest as an egalitarian alternative to the RAMMY Awards — the event coming up on June 25, when the area’s best chefs, as selected by a panel of judges, will be announced.

First things first, “hot” does not equate to “talented” or “good.” The traditional meaning of “hot” is “of high temperature or heat.” See, e.g., Eugene Jerome (“Man, it’s hot. It’s like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn’t take this kind of hot.”). “Hot” may also mean “popular” or “chic.” See, e.g., Paris Hilton (“That’s hot.”); Jacobim Mugatu (“It’s that damn Hansel! He’s so hot right now.”). The use of “hot” may signify that an object is stolen. See, e.g., Jerry Seinfeld (“Ah, I’ll tell him I got it on the street, and maybe it’s hot. That’s his favorite.”). And, of course, “hot” may mean “physically attractive.” See, e.g., the Toros squad (“I’m bitchin’, great hair, / The boys all love to stare, / I’m wanted, I’m hot, / I’m everything you’re not, / I’m pretty, I’m cool, / I dominate the school[.]”). That’s how we took it. But “hottest” simply does not mean “most exceptional in the kitchen.”