Over the weekend, Washington, D.C. renewed its Taliban-like devotion to the Washington Redskins as nearly fifty-thousand fans headed out to FedEx Field this past Saturday to watch the home team participate in a “free” scrimmage against the Ravens. The reason for the Washington Times scare-quotes is because the event was mainly noteworthy for how Washington’s Public Frenemy Number One, Dan Snyder, used the occasion to test out his latest parking lot price-gouge strategies, proving once again that if there was such a thing as a White Collar Crime Emergency, the police would warn residents to be on the lookout for diminutive white guys who might be stalking Federally owned foliage.

Leaving aside the fact that “Fan Appreciation Day” more or less follows in the rich tradition of nomenclature that also gave rise to the “Clear Skies Initiative,” fans who braved the heat and cost were treated to a two-hour scrimmage that featured both seven-on-seven drills along with a full-side, full-contact workout for both teams. In addition, there were performances by the Redskins Marching Band, the cheerleaders, and enough speechifying to fill an evening of Venezuelan prime-time television.