Because nothing says “fun times” like terrifying giant panda-costumed folks traveling in a motorcade and handing out

single-use cameras across the metropolitan area, we just had to alert you folks to the zoo’s newest promotional event.

Starting Friday, October 13th, in order to celebrate the grand opening of the Fujifilm Giant Panda Habitat and Asia Trail,

the fine folks at the Zoo and FONZ will be taking the panda show on the road.

Apparently, the 13th through the 15th, according to the press release sent our way, “two FONZ volunteers will don giant panda

costumes and distribute Fujifilm QuickSnap cameras to 400 people at each of 12 locations throughout the Washington, D.C.

metro area.” Which — do you really think these are “FONZ volunteers” so much as “people who probably for nefarious reasons

owe FONZ a lot of money”? Because donning enormous panda costumes for fifteen hours doesn’t sound so much like something

people are scrambling to do. But maybe that’s just us.

Additionally, three random people who show up to the locations will be receiving a ticket that entitles them to a VIP tour of the new

trail, a digital camera and, best of all, a “private visit” with Butterstick and his folks. What do you think a “private

visit” with a bunch of pandas entails? Cracking open a few cold ones and watching the game? Cuddling? Sitting around, staring

blankly at each other, trying to think of clever things to say? The pressure!

In order to figure out where the panda van motorcade will be stopping around town, you can head over here, where somebody has painstakingly put together several rhyming clues

as to where it will be each day. We’re counting on our

Flickrites to capture these special moments.

Tasteless-yet-totally-awesome graphic brought to you by the Photoshop skills of Tom Lee