We’re all familiar with The Rules. You know, that iron clad system by which every woman can land herself the man of her dreams and keep him, if only she’s willing to act like the most obnoxious kind of person you’ve ever met. Of course, men have rules, too. They just don’t publish them. They’ve been passed down in locker rooms, cigar-choked men’s-only clubs, and fraternity houses for time immemorial. The fact is, I could easily go point-by-point through Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s list of golden guidelines and give you the XY chromosome counterpart. But the Freemasons would permanently reject my membership, and I enjoy helping to secretly run the world far too much to give it up. But what I can do is to point you in the direction of this week’s quote of the week for insight into how you, too, can be the kind of stand-up, likeable guy that always gets the girl.

Quote of the Week

Near the Pizza Mart in Adams Morgan, 3:30 a.m., two guys enjoying their jumbo slices:

Guy 1: “So you have to be a jerk to her for a while. When she starts to get into you, then you can be nice.”
Guy 2: “But I like her.”
Guy 1: “Trust me, you shouldn’t be nice to her. I was reading my ex-girlfriend’s gmail chats and she was totally into me when I was a jerk to her.”
Guy 2: “Oh, ok.”

After the jump, the Stewart/Perry divide, making amends, and public transit angst.

The rules also dictate that in order to win the hearts of the Overheard staff, you should send your quotes to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.