Spring seems to be here to stay this time around, and that means swimsuit season can’t be far behind. Here at the Overheard office, before we dust off the old Speedo, we’re aiming to set a personal record for failed fad diets in a single month, figuring that if the average dieter loses the will to continue within the first week, then if we just start a brand new diet every week, we might actually be able to reverse a winter’s worth of inactivity and beer drinking despite our severe lack of anything resembling willpower. We plan to market it as the Everything Diet for the Weak at Heart. And don’t go getting any ideas that you’re going to beat us to the punch and become the next Jenny Craig, as we already have a patent pending. One thing we should point out before you jump on the EDWH bandwagon is that the program should be used for you and you alone. Forcing it on your already slender children does them no favors.

Quote of the Week

A mother and her skinny daughter at the Crystal City Dunkin Donuts:

Daughter: “Can I get a smoothie?”
Mom: “No! It has milk in it!!! That’s way too bad! Well… maybe if they put skim milk in it. Though they may have pre-made smoothie mix, so don’t get your hopes up.”
(Lull in conversation)
Girl: “What about that chocolate drink?”
Mom: “The mocha? Are you crazy??? You can’t drink coffee!!! And that has a TON of sugar in it!”
Girl: “You never let me have anything!” [walks off]
Mom: “We’ll have lunch soon anyway!”

After the jump, bright lights, gaudy city, and various manifestations of true love.

Everybody wants to live forever. Commit the people you on whom you eavesdrop to immortality by sending their quotes to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.

Photo by Flickr user We’re So Tired.