MONDAY:
Karen Dawn will be Thanking the Monkey at the Olsson’s in Dupont Circle. No, that doesn’t mean what you think. Dawn, who founded the animal advocacy media group DawnWatch.com, merely wants us to rethink the way we treat animals. For starters, chimpanzees want all you horrible sitcom and commercial writers out there to stop calling them monkeys. They’re apes, dorks. 7 p.m.

Law professor Cass Sunstein will make an appearance at Politics and Prose to discuss Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth, and Happiness. According to Sunstein, most decisions we make are wrong because we are human and susceptible to various biases. That’s exactly why we rely on our robot butler to make our decisions. 7 p.m.

Max Sherman, editor of Barbara Jordan: Speaking the Truth with Eloquent Thunder, will be at Busboys and Poets in D.C. to discuss the late Congresswoman Jordan’s speeches. 6:30 p.m.

Laurie Notaro will be at the Border’s at 1801 K Street to talk about her book, The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death: Reflections on Revenge, Germophobia, and Laser Hair Removal. 6:30 p.m.

TUESDAY:
Washington Post journalist Philip P. Pan will be at Politics and Prose to talk about his book, Out of Mao’s Shadow: The Struggle for the Soul of a New China. 7 p.m.

Christopher Reich talks about the Rules of Deception at the Olsson’s in Dupont Circle. Rule #1: Tell everyone you’re talking about your book, but then spend an hour discussing sunflowers. Muahahaha! 7 p.m.

WEDNESDAY:
Christian Lander claims to know a lot about Stuff White People Like. He knows so much, he apparently put it all into a book called Stuff White People Like: A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions. We know what white people like, too. They like going to Politics and Prose on Wednesdays at 7 p.m. to hear some guy tell them what they like. And since they enjoy being early to everything, you should get there super early to save a spot.