For all the criticism out there about Caps left wing Alexander Semin’s fighting style, we’d like to point out that New York Rangers defenseman Marc Staal is equally bad at curl and drag fakes, nifty stickhandling moves and goal scoring. While the big lumbering defenseman may fight in a more traditional hockey style, we like Semin’s originality in the above video from this weekend’s Caps victory. Yes, Semin might be the first NHL player to attempt a series of overhand slaps, but he comes out on top. The supposedly tougher Staal has to hug himself for safety on the ground after losing his balance and falling over. What good is being big and tough in ice hockey if you can’t stand up on ice skates?

While we’re at it, is there anything truly girly about slapping a man? Wasn’t a slap in the face the standard protocol for initiating duels? Wouldn’t Rick James be proud? And is Staal’s traditional hockey fighting style so manly in the first place? Look at the video. Marc Staal, the former sod farmer from the wild Canadian West, has been held beyond reproach all over the internet for his traditional, brave, macho fighting skills. While some have called Semin’s style girly, Staal, by contrast, is the epitome of gentlemanly conduct. But what does Staal do here to prove his manliness and virility? He forcefully, aggressively, persistently and skillfully removes another man’s shirt, and then gets beat down by a prima donna who fights like a girl. Some tough guy.