Photo by esherman.

No, DCist didn’t send a reporter to the Charlie Sheen “comedy” show last night at DAR Constitution Hall. (Truth be told, I’m far too fond of any of our contributors to have any of them to spend a perfectly pleasant Tuesday evening reporting on a train wreck of such epic proportions.) And, honestly, it was clear from the outset that actually attending the show was going to prove wholly unnecessary to those interested in what verbal diarrhea Sheen would produce — after all, every other media outlet in town was practically falling over themselves to document this vital piece of American history.

Our favorite so far, though, has to be POLITICO’s takeaway from last night’s variety show. Seeing as how he was in the nation’s capital, Sheen decided to take the opportunity to ruminate on national politics and talk — sigh — about birth certificates. Here’s the beef:

“Is that the craziest f— idea ever?” Sheen asked the friendly crowd, who cheered in support of a potential presidential bid by the longtime (and recently deposed) star of “Two and a Half Men.”

“For starters, I was f—king born here, how about that? And I got proof! Nothing photoshopped about my birth certificate.”

“I know I promised this wouldn’t be political, but look where we f— are, man!”

So Charlie Sheen charged people upwards of a hundred bucks to tell them he was a birther? Oh yeah, I definitely made the right editorial call here.