AP Photo/John Minchillo

The female competitive eaters are so much better in Alexandria: Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas defeated all comers yesterday in the newly-formed Nathan’s Famous Women’s Hot Dog Eating World Championship, earning herself the handsome trophy and a pink belt. Thomas, who is from Alexandria, bested second-place Juliet Lee — who’s also a local, from Germantown, Maryland — by 10 1/2 dogs. That’s right, Thomas — who weights about 100 pounds — ate more than ten percent of her body weight in hot dogs and buns. (Good thing for her that success in the field of competitive eating has little to nothing to do with the girth of the individual participating.)

Joey Chestnut, meanwhile, won the men’s title for the fifth consecutive year, downing a total of 62 hot dogs in 95-degree weather. Chestnut’s main competition, Takeru Kobayashi, who doesn’t compete in the Nathan’s event due to a contract dispute, ate 69 hot dogs in an unsanctioned exhibition held at the same time. Mmm.

Because we know that all you want to do at 9:55 a.m. on a Tuesday morning is watch a group of people stuff tons of sorbitol and hydrolyzed soy down their throats, here’s the video footage. Bon appetit!