“More D.C. rats? Damn them!” Photo courtesy of the Office of the Attorney General

Virginia Attorney General Ken “The Cooch” Cuccinelli certainly has made a name for himself in recent years.

The Tea Party favorite and likely successor to Gov. Bob McDonnell moved to impose stricter regulations on abortion clinics, censored the commonwealth’s seal on lapel pins for his office, insinuated the President Obama isn’t a U.S. citizen, told Virginians that they can legally take their guns to church, covertly tried to allow state universities to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and led the charge against President Obama’s health care overhaul (he failed).

More recently, though, The Cooch waded into a local debate.

In a call to conservative radio show The Morning Majority (WMAL 105.9 FM) on Tuesday, Cuccinelli offered his opinion on recent news that rats have been spotted at the Occupy D.C. encampment at McPherson Square. (The station stole our picture for their post on the news, but hey, that’s for another day.) Said The Cooch:

Cuccinelli: Well, I saw the same rat story about D.C. that y’all have been talking about. What you may not know is that last year, in its finite wisdom, the D.C. City Council passed a new law, or a triumph of animal rights over human health, where those pest control people you suggested they bring in aren’t allowed to kill the rats. They have to relocate the rats and not only that — that’s actually not the worst part — they cannot break up the families of the rats. Now, as actual experts in pest control will tell you, if you don’t move an animal at least 25 miles, it’ll come back. And so what’s the solution to that? Well, cross a river.

Host: Send ’em over to Virginia, that’s right.

Cuccinelli: Guess why I care about that sort of thing?

Other host: I bet.

Cuccinelli: Anyway, it is worse than our immigration policy — you can’t break up families. Or raccoons or all the rest and you can’t even kill them. Unbelievable.

Not to impeach your expert testimony here, counselor, but a few asides are necessary.

First, the law you’re referring to — the Wildlife Protection Act of 2010, sponsored by Councilmember Mary Cheh (D-Ward 3) — explicitly exempts rats and mice from its provisions. So yes, while a family of raccoons might have to be relocated, rats are fair game for pest control experts. (And before you jump on us over the wisdom of the law, note that a Northern Virginia-based pest control expert testified on behalf of the bill. Just sayin’.)

Second, well, we’re not really sure how to respond to the accusation that D.C. pest control teams are sneaking rats into Virginia under cover of darkness. It’s so villainous! So unethical! So untrue. But hey, if you want to station Virginia State Troopers on the Key Bridge, Memorial Bridge, Chain Bridge, 14th Street Bridge and along the shores of the Potomac, feel free. We’ll find a way to get our rats into the commonwealth, whether we have to air-drop them in over Richmond with little parachutes. Occupy Virginia indeed.

Finally, we’re not really sure if that little snipe about immigration policy means that you think that immigrants should be killed. Just for that, we’re sending a few hundred extra rats over tonight.

Arlington, Alexandria — it was in 1847 that you guys were given back to the commonwealth after having been part of the original land set aside for the creation of our fair city. If you want to re-retrocede yourselves back to D.C. once The Cooch is elected governor, we and our rats will happily take you.