Photo by renmeleon

We’ve all heard of jumbo slices being thrown around after a night of heavy drinking in Adams Morgan. In fact, there are few late-night fights along 18th Street that don’t end with someone covered with a massive slice of soggy pizza. But slapping someone across the face with a Chipotle burrito? In the grand scheme of culinary weapons, that’s pretty deadly.

Overheard of the Week

Outside the U Street Metro Friday night:

Lady in here late 20s screaming at people across the street: “I slapped your bitch in the face with a piping hot burrito. Taste it!”

After the jump, sexy stomachs, interpretive humor and the gays save everything.

As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on YOU to send in the good stuff. Make sure you tell us who said it, where, and in what situation. And make sure to use our special Overheard in D.C. email address.

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Who Doesn’t Like a Sext Stomach?

On the Green Line to Greenbelt during the evening rush on Thursday. Three D.C. teens are talking, loudly, to each other about sex.

“I don’t even like vagina, I like stomach.”

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Interpret This!

A group of my coworkers are hanging out in the kitchen during an internet outage.

Coworker 1: Are you guys coming to my interpretive dance performance?
Coworker 2: Is that a joke?

Laughter.

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Gentrification is Gay

ChurchKey Happy Hour Friday Night. Two late twenty-something/early thirty-something men sitting at a table. One looks thoughtfully out the window and says to the other, “It’s amazing what the gays have done with this neighborhood.”

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Phucking Phillies Phans

One Phillies phan in particular, sitting in right field during Friday night’s game. After Jesus Flores catches Shane Victorino trying to steal third, “Yeah? Your third baseman (Wilson Ramos) got kidnapped!”

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Crikey! This Isn’t Cricket?

At Nationals Park Friday night. There’s a group of British people and it’s obviously their first baseball game.

British woman: Apparently this is the only game where there’s no time limit. They can just go on playing forever. They don’t even stop for tea or anything!

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You Know You’ve Spent Too Long in Front of a Computer When…

On corner of 18th/H, crossing Pennsylvania, two girls about 22-25, possibly tourists:

Girl 1: Hey, is that the World Bank?
Girl 2: Oh yeah, it is! My friend said it’s supposed to look like an Excel file.
Girl 1: It totally is! We could, like, do calculations in the windows.

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Insert Joke About Urban Sombrero

At Georgetown University’s undergraduate coffee shop.

Man 1: What are you wearing for Cinco de Mayo?
Man 2: I don’t know…I was thinking about a sombrero and something preppy

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Kids Say the Darndest Things

One sixth grader asking the librarian: “Is it the antelope or the cantaloupe that’s the animal?”

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Woman’s Best Friend

One 40ish woman is standing in line talking to another woman about whether to buy Shake Shack treats for her pet.

Woman: “That dog outlasted both of my marriages.”

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Mower-Jacked!

Two homeless people watching kids play with a toy lawnmower. One kid comes up behind the other and takes the lawnmower away. Homeless dude says to the other, “He just got carjacked!”

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MILFs!

At lunchtime, near Federal Triangle:

Male Young Professional 1: Did you know today is “Bring Your Kid To Work Day?”
Male Young Professional 2: I prefer to call it, “MILF Identification Day.”