Photo by paperclipexpress

Our city has the benefit of having a lot of newspapers available. That means you really have to set yourself apart from the pack.

Overheard of the Week

Outside Union Station’s Metro entrance:

Express employee: “Express! Get your Express! A paper that has nothing at all to do with the homeless!”

After the jump, big families, tourists, and jokes.

As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit your overheards. Make sure to tell us who, when, and in what context, and please use our Overheard in DC email address.

——

“Mom, when did you decide to have me?”

Walking in the back door of an apartment building in Van Ness:

A mid-30s woman on her cell phone: “So the animals were going to be our babies. And then we had the oops baby. And now we’re stuck with this zoo.”

——

Maybe they need to work on their branding

In the Smithsonian National Museum of African Art:

Father/husband speaking at his wife and children while leaving the building.

Father: “Next, I want to got to the Smithsonian.”
One of the kids: “You mean the Air and Space Museum.”
Father: “Yeah. And, I really want to see that Oriental joint too.” (referring to the Freer and Sackler.)

——

Tourists.

At National Airport:

Two tourists are walking, one is pulling her luggage and carrying a bag. Turns to the other and referring to the bag says, “Can you carry this? It is heavy.” The second tourist sighs and takes the bag of Cinnabons.

——

Mixed metaphors: an important part of an MBA education

Near the FAA building:

A government executive is walking quickly during lunch time, holding two briefcases and talking on his cell.

Executive, with a very serious look on his face: “Look. We need to stay the course. If you need to, pull out the artillery and use it. Do it now.”

——

You’ve come a long way, baby.

Evening rush hour on the Metro:

A man gives up his seat to a probable tourist mom wearing an “I heart DC” sweatshirt, so she could sit next to her daughter. A conversation about chivalry begins after the woman thanks the man for giving her his seat.

Mom: “I’ve always told my daughter there is nothing sexier than a man behind a vacuum cleaner!”

——

Ba dum?

During the morning commute on the 52 bus:

Tourist with southern Accent: “Is this the bus to the Holocaust?”
Driver: “No. That’s the 53.”
[Door closes]
Passenger: “No. This is not a DeLorean.”

——

This Show-and-Tell is going to be awesome

On a quiet neighborhood street in Arlington:

A father and his five or six year old daughter are walking. The little girl is dressed in pink, and is carrying a cartoon princess backpack.

Father: “…and then you cut the head off and hang it upside down so the blood will drain out.”
(Pause while the little girl asks a question.)
Father: “No, no, pigs aren’t that easy to kill.”

——

The D.C. non-profit at work

Outside Columbia Heights Coffee:

A woman in her 20s on her cellphone on a Sunday: “It’s not like we can fly them to Hawai’i or go golfing with them. All we offer them is human rights.”

——

2012, everybody.

Near the CVS at Dupont Circle:

Young woman to her boyfriend: “Everyone thinks that self-checkout is the best thing ever, but I hate it. I think I’m going to blog about it!”