Photo by Joshua Yospyn
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Despite the cherry blossoms, nice parks, and sometimes beautiful architecture, D.C. is not well-known as a romantic city. Maybe that’s for a reason.
Overheard of the Week
About 7:30 a.m. at Vida Fitness in the Verizon Center:
A 30-ish man is stretching near the weight machines, and a 30-something woman starts stretching next to him. They are acquaintances and begin talking about whether or not he should propose to his girlfriend.
Him: “I probably have to decide in the next year whether or not she gets the ring.”
Her: “Wow, that’s romantic.”
Him: “Well, I’m just not sure.”
Her: “Why not?”
Him: “Because with every woman I date, I always have to continuously ask myself, ‘Is this the best possible candidate for me?'”
After the jump, more romance, dumb people, and a rare heartwarming overheard.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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Existential questions
At SouperGirl in Takoma:
Elderly woman, pointing to a hot dog cart on the sidewalk outside a Metro station: “Is that a food truck?”
Elderly man, annoyed: “No, that is clearly not a food truck. Have you ever seen a food truck before?”
Woman: “It has wheels. It looks like a food truck.”
Couple continues to argue if it is, in fact, a food truck.
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OverColbert in D.C.
At the taping of the Colbert Report on Monday at GWU’s Lisner Auditorium:
During a pre-show Q&A with the audience:
Audience member: “If you were a kitchen utensil, what would you be?”
Stephen Colbert: “A turkey baster, for obvious reasons.”
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True love wins
At a party in Columbia Heights:
A guy in his 20s or 30s to another guy: “If his income isn’t more than twice his age, he isn’t worth talking to.”
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Happy Express distributors are a good way to start the day
The Monday after Thanksgiving at the Ballston Metro station during the morning commute:
WaPo Express distributor: “I’m just livin’ on smiles today!”
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Tobler’s first law of geography: Everything is related to everything else, but near things are more related than distant things
On the Red Line arriving at Gallery Place/Chinatown:
Five-year-old child to his dad: “Wait, Chinatown — isn’t that close to China, Dad?”
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Sí
Lunchtime on Friday on a Circulator heading to Georgetown:
Two professional guys in their late 30s speaking of a doomed report.
Guy 1: “He just rejected it and accoutrements.
Guy 2: “Account what?”
Guy 1: “Accoutrements. It’s French for the whole enchilada.”
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The insides taste better?
Two staff members from a D.C. production company are speaking on set of a video shoot for a commercial in South Carolina:
Production guy 1: “I mean … cats are just like Oreos.”
Production guy 2: “Exactly.”
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Give these guys a TV show, I’d watch it
Two men near the NoMa Metro station talking about beard growth:
Guy 1: “It would probably take me a month-and-a-half to grow what took you a week.”
Guy 2: “And I even touched mine up, son!”
Guy 1: “Slow and steady, that’s all I’m sayin’.”
Guy 2: “Like old people having coitus.”
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It is not terribly complicated
On a S9 Metrobus going south at about 6 p.m. on Monday:
Two women are talking about someone who annoys them with her dietary restrictions.
One woman: “And she’s a vegetarian! I’m not a vegetarian, I don’t know what food is vegetarian or not!”
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U Street problems
On U Street NW:
Flannel shirted mid-20s hip guy talking to another: “I just spent $40 on PBRs”
