In their roles backing up a starting rotation that includes Stephen Strasburg, Jordan Zimmerman, Gio Gonzalez and Edwin Jackson, the Nationals’ relief pitchers generally have plenty of time every night to kick back before being called in to action.
And, as the old saying goes, a healthy mind is the key to a healthy pitching arm. (Or something like that.) So, what better way is there to calm one’s nerves before a clutch relief outing than by taking in a bit of reading?
The Nationals’ bullpen, it seems, keeps up with The New York Times’ bestseller list. In a video posted today by Major League Baseball, four Nats relievers—Sean Burnett, Tyler Clippard, Ryan Mattheus and Craig Stammen—shared their love for Fifty Shades of Grey, the erotic thriller that has been sitting atop the trade paperback and e-book lists for several months.
Fifty Shades fever first struck the Nationals locker room a few weeks ago, when it was discovered that cleanup hitter Michael Morse had taken in the bondage-drenched novel. He told D.C. Sports Bog that, in fact, it was his fiancée’s selection, and she just happend to have read it out loud. Whatever you say, Mike.
But the pitchers are backing Morse’s story. However, as they proudly say in the video’s opening frames, “We loved it.” In paced, almost sultry tones, the four pitchers read a few choice scenes. Burnett places himself into the voice of willing college graduate Anastasia Steele:
I try to keep my face impassive as we get to the elevator. The doors close, and it’s there: The great electrical attraction crackling between us enslaves me.
That’s about as hot as the MLB video gets, though. None of the pitchers dared read any of author E.L. James’ hottest and heaviest action.
The Nats, however, are not the first D.C. sports team to get into this Twilight-inspired mommy porn. Earlier this month, D.C. United midfielder Chris Pontius admitted he bought his own copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. By accident.
He picked it up at a local bookstore on the advice of DC101 host Elliot Segal, without knowing about its salaciousness. It didn’t take right away, though, Sports Bog’s Sarah Kogod reported:
“I stopped it before I got to the part that women love,” he explained. “When I was, like, 40 pages in, I realized, oh, this is a chick book.”
But he told me he read 70 pages.
“Yeah, and then I read 30 more pages,” he admitted. “I was bored.”
Watch the Nationals read Fifty Shades of Grey:
