In a shock win, the Wizards beat the Miami Heat last night at the Verizon Center by a score of 105-101. Sure, no one expected the NBA’s worst team to collect only its second victory of the season over the reigning league champions. Then again, the Wizards were aided by the aura of Robert Griffin III.
Despite the win, though, most Wizards fans are still glum, especially one who took to Craigslist today and decided he or she was so sick of everybody beating the Wiz, the poster offered to actually pay someone to accept tickets to Saturday’s game against the Golden State Warriors.
For the price of having to endure the Wizards stumble through 48 minutes of basketball—admittedly a steep cost—the poster will give you $10. That’s an even better deal than StubHub, where the 1,349 tickets available for resale start at $5. (Perhaps getting those first two wins will bump ticket prices above the $1 mark.)
It’s not just the general cheapness of Wizards tickets that has this person bummed though. The Wizards’ futility is a sign of great malice:
My Wizards tickets are making my house feel like the one in Paranormal Activity. So how do I get rid of these pesky Wizareds tickets that make my bones shiver every time I walk past them? I must get rid of them before it is too late…These Wizards tickets are…PURE EVIL!
Of course, like any good freelance gig, there is no payment without hard labor. To earn that $10, the person who claims the tickets must do three things:
1. You must go to the game. In order to prove this, you must take a picture (with you in the photo) that shows the scoreboard at a) some point in the 1st quarter and b) with the final score and 0:00.
2. You must wear Wizards gear. A shirt or a hat. Something that sort of proves you aren’t a Warriors fan getting an amazing deal.
3. You must write about your experience. A paragraph or two about if watching the game was worth the negative ten bucks.
Sounds arduous. Is suffering through a Wizards game worth $10? Perhaps not. But a Wizards ticket is a pathetic kill fee.
