Photo by Robert Krasker

Kids are a staple of Overheard in D.C., either by making hilarious non-sequiturs, calling out adults for being ridiculous or just being generally amusing. And sometimes they do adorable stuff.

Overheard of the Week

On the northbound S9 bus Wednesday morning:

A dad and his toddler son board the bus. The boy starts reaching for the Metro service brochures on the window and the dad offers to read him one.

Dad: “Oh, now this is about the Fast Pass; you can get one for seven days and ride the train as many times as you want! You could ride 10 times in a day, or 20 times! Wouldn’t that be fun?”
Boy (excitedly): “Or THREE times!”
Dad: “Yes, even three times!”
Boy (with growing excitement): “Or THIRTY times!”
Dad: “Yes, that too!”
Boy: (in a hushed, awestruck tone): “Or… SIX times!”

After the jump, a lack of boundaries, lame businessmen and Chinatown.

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Hopefully this means hiking boots

In the office:

One middle-aged office worker to another: “Hey, how was your trip? Or rather, how did your equipment down below handle your trip?”

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I think Bob is better off

Wednesday as three businessmen lunch at the Subway in Glover Park:

Business guy 1: “Bob lives in my neighborhood. I saw him I think.”
(pause)
Business guy 2: “I never really liked that guy. He didn’t accept my LinkedIn request.”

(Names changed.)

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For being that annoying person talking on their phone on the bus so everybody can hear you

On a 90 bus heading up 8th Street SE:

Girl in her 20s boarding the bus is talking on the phone about how John Brennan, Obama’s recent nominee for CIA head, is “pro-torture.”

Her side of the conversation becomes unintelligible in the bus noise, but half a minute later: “I’m probably going to be arrested… don’t tell my mom.”

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Oh, Jesus Christ

Four casual guys are chatting in a Halal restaurant near Clarendon:

Guy: “My LinkedIn profile picture is not doing me justice. I really need to step it up.”

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She has a point

At the McDonalds at Union Station:

A little kid has been waiting forever for his order so he yells at the lady at the counter: “Y’all got terrible customer service”.

The lady doesn’t even blink and yells back: “You ain’t paid for nothin’ yourself, so you ain’t no customer!”

——

Forget it, Jake

Around 5:30 p.m. outside the Verizon Center McDonalds:

A man is speaking to a homeless man begging for spare change, holding a mostly empty cup: “Get rid of that cup, you’re in the wrong place with that cup. Trade it for a mask and rob some motherfuckers, then you’ll get what you need. This is Chinatown.”

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Pretty much the same thing

Three women are walking down M Street in Georgetown today and pass the shuttered Pizzeria Uno:

Woman 1: “This used to be a restaurant, didn’t it?”
Woman 2: “It isn’t anymore.”
Woman 3: “Yeah, it used to be Citronelle.”