Bethesda Bagels via Facebook

It’s not that there is a local deficit of coffeeshops and bakeries from which to obtain a ring of dough that has been flash-boiled then baked. But, let’s be serious, there are some things in life that are so much better in New York, and nothing exemplifies that sentiment more than bagels.

Comparatively, D.C.’s bagels lack the tangy rind and fluffy interior of those emanating from the five boroughs. And while some local shops date back decades, there are no brands as cherished as, say, the beloved, reprobate H&H. Then again, the difference between New York’s bagels and our bagels isn’t, despite the rumors, all in the water. It’s also a matter of method. It helps that water of the Hudson River Watershed is softer than that of the Chesapeake Bay Watershed, but what really makes the difference is a baker’s patience. The best bagel-makers keep their dough fermenting overnight to give it that properly sour taste. And adding excess baking soda and steam blasts to give bagels that look of having been properly done is just a shortcut to a glorified pretzel.

Face it, anyone who says there is a “great” bagel to be found around these parts is just lying to themselves. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t “good enough” bagels here and there. However, what might be saddest is that when it comes to bagels, the suburbs might have the District beat.

IZE’S DELI AND BAGLERY: OK, we’re not crazy about the word “bagelry,” but when it comes to locally produced bagels, this Rockville spot might have the closest approximation to the real thing. Its bagels’ exteriors sometimes verge on the crunchy side—remember it should be crisp, but not crackling—but the interior is just about right. Store-made cream cheeses are solidly above average, as is the assortment of fishy toppings. Nova lox, for sure, along with whitefish filets and salads, and sable. They’ll probably give you capers, too, if you ask.

Ize’s Deli and Bagelry is located at 11622 Rockville Pike, Rockville, Md. (301-231-0771, izesdeliandbagelry.com).

BETHESDA BAGELS: These half-suburban bagels—hey, there is a shop in Dupont Circle—have their defenders, at least for the passable bagels, if not the sometimes intolerable service. Weekend breakfasts in Bethesda or Dupont Circle can be real slow, obviously. Many are partial to the spicier cream cheeses, such as the red pepper and jalapeño cheddar varieties. As for the bagels themselves, Bethesda Bagels’ suburban competitors offer a challenge, but the Dupont location is about as well as one can do in a city clogged with chain bagels.

Bethesda Bagels is located at 1718 Connecticut Avenue NW (202-299-9399) in Dupont Circle, and at 4819 Bethesda Avenue (301-652-8990) in Bethesda; bethesdabagels.com.

Photo by Chris Rief

BROOKLYN BAGEL BAKERY: Nice name, right? Actually, this Arlington shop has been impressing even the most discriminating New York transplants since its opening in 2000. Is it because it sneakily imports that Hudson River water? Well, the bakery’s owners write on their website that they considered that, but ultimately, they settled on the practices that truly make a good bagel: patient dough-making and meticulous kettle boiling. It’s cash only, so don’t be surprised if the clerks look chafed when you pull out an American Express. Grumpy service is part of the authentic bagel experience, too, and certainly nothing worth complaining about on Yelp.

Brooklyn Bagel Bakery is located at 2055 Wilson Boulevard in Arlington (703-243-4442, brooklynbagelva.com).

THE LEGIT THING: As we said at the top, as good as any of these locally made bagels might be, they pale in authenticity compared to those made in New York, or possibly Montreal, where the bagels are a bit sweeter (it’s the honey-sweetened water), but still excellent. If you want a real bagel, you’re just going to have to pack your bags and take a little trip. In the words of longtime DCist contributor Lynne Venart, “In order to get good bagels in D.C., go to Washington Reagan National Airport and hop on a flight to New York or Montreal.” A quick search on Expedia for flights between Reagan National and any of the three major New York airports shows itineraries for tomorrow beginning at $570. Trips to Montreal’s Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport begin at nearly $1,000. Amtrak might be a better bet if you’re still willing to take extreme measures to get good bagels.