Butifarra casera con mongetes ‘Daniel Patrick Moynihan’ from Jaleo
There’s a reason that Otto von Bismarck famously said, “Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made”—just see below.
Overheard of the Week
Anonymous legislative assistant, addressing when the Senate passed their budget bill in the early hours of 3/23: “Oh man, I was so drunk when I left work this morning.”
After the jump, workplace humor, cute kids, and more. If you want more, submit to our special email.
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It’s all fun and games until you get reported to HR
At the office:
Middle-aged man walks along the cube farm and notices a fellow inmate typing: “oh, you’re a hunt-n-pecker”
Fellow employee: “Excuse me?”
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Right, that’s the famous part
At RFD a few weeks ago
A drunk, sweaty guy is talking to an out-of-towner.
Out of towner: “So where’s Foggy Bottom, is that a neighborhood?”
Drunk guy, slurring: “Yeah. You heard of Watergate? In 1976 there was this Lynyrd Skynyrd song…”
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Oh, snap
Two girls in their early-20s walking down Q St. in Dupont Circle:
Girl 1 to girl 2: “He’s a hipster and he lives on H Street. What do you think the H stands for?”
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Ok, this is kind of cute
In Bethesda on Saturday:
Dad walking with his daughter, maybe about 6. Dad responding to something the daughter says:
Dad: “A-ha! So now you don’t have an excuses for not cleaning your room!”
Daughter: “Dangit! Stupid brain!”
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D.C.: it’s good for something
On the circulator between P Street and Columbia Heights on Friday during evening rush:
Two 20-something girls are talking about work weekend plans.
Girl 1: “It’s like I feel like i am failing at living in Washington, it’s like I don’t even know what is going on.”
Girl 2: “Oh come on! you’ve been to an immigration rally!”
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Internet etiquette
Red line toward Shady Grove around 6pm:
Early 30s guy explaining to his girlfriend: “You ‘like’ it not because you’re happy I have leukemia, but to show support. Google had the right idea with its ‘+1’, but that didn’t really catch on like it should have.”
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You darn kids
At the American Art Museum’s Civil War Art exhibit the text of the Gettysburg Address is printed on a wall:
College-Age Girl: “‘Four score and seven years ago…’ Four score. What does that even mean?”
College-Age Guy [trying to sound authoritative]: “Score. It’s a certain–term. It’s a certain term they used back then…I think it means…”
Irate Older Guy: “Twenty. Score means twenty.”
Guy: “Oh right! I was thinking that–like in the back of my head, I was saying “twenty”! It means twenty.”
Girl: “So 27 years?”
Older Guy: “No. Eighty-seven years. Four score is eighty, plus seven.”
Girl: “Ohhh! Duh! Ha ha, that was dumb of me!”
Older Guy: [Clenches jaw and doesn’t answer]
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And finally: So he’s a bomb disposaleer? I don’t get it
On the Green Line going home from St. Patrick’s Day festivities:
A group of friends is asking one of their number to describe someone’s genitals. After a few displays suggesting of hilarious, nearly-impossible size, the girl shuts down the conversation with the following.
Woman: “I don’t call him ‘The Hurt Locker’ for nothing.”
