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You learn a lot of things when you’re young: don’t talk to strangers, just say no, look both ways before crossing the street. It’s not so easy to put it into practice, however.
Overheard of the Week
Tuesday, waiting for the G2 bus near Logan Circle:
Woman 1: “A man tried to kidnap me yesterday.”
Woman 2: “What?!”
Woman 1: “Yeah, he asked if I wanted some candy, and I said, ‘Yeah.’ Then he said that I had to get in his car. I said, ‘No way! My Mom used to tell me about that when I was a kid!'”
Woman 2: (speechless)
Woman 1: “But I really wanted some candy, though.”
After the jump, a lot of romance, office relationships, and kids.
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I want to major in this
At the Social Safeway in Geogretown:
Three young guys in Georgetown T-shirts and holding swim noodles, two of whom are hitting each other, are riding the downward escalator.
Guy 1: “Guys, stop. We’re in COLLEGE.”
Guy 2: “Ha, yeah, I know. That’s the point!”
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And it was a moment they would never forget
Outside of Fox & Hounds on Sunday evening:
Two groups of men are approaching each other on 17th Street NW and one guy shouts to another guy in the approaching group.
Guy 1: “Hey it’s Jake! I made out with you 17 years ago!”
Jake: “No, you stuffed a marshmallow peep in my mouth 17 years ago!”
(Name changed)
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Uh, right
Outside the Verizon Center a few weeks ago:
Two Capitals fans are walking to the game arguing over which Roosevelt was more “boss.”
Fan 1: “Yeah, but Franklin didn’t have legs.”
Fan 2: “Yeah, that’s pretty boss.”
Editor’s note: Also incorrect.
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Ah, spring. Romance is in the air
In Rock Creek Park last Sunday:
Two 20-something women are jogging.
Woman 1: “Well, did he put it in you or not?”
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This raises a lot of questions
On U Street NW between 15th and 16th:
Two guys are sitting on a stoop and one guy is standing on the sidewalk.
Guy on sidewalk in sing-song, nonchalant tone: “You wanna know what it’s like to fall out of a car? I got pictures.” (pantomimes and makes camera rapid-fire shutter “click” sounds)
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It’s a pretty sweet deal to be a little kid
Near 7th and E Street NE about 9 p.m. on Saturday:
A man and his daughter are taking an evening walk and the girl (around two years old) is pushing some bike-like thing.
Girl: “Daddy, I have to go bathroom.”
Dad: “Do you need to go peepee or poopoo?”
Girl: “I need go peepee.”
Dad: “Okay honey, that’s why you have a diaper on…”
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Working hard or hardly working
On Connecticut Avenue NW near Farragut North Metro at 5:30 p.m.:
A middle-age woman is talking to a middle-age man.
Woman: “She asked if she could touch my tits. I said sure, I totally don’t care. You know, no big deal. She was really into it, though. Did nothing for me but I let her cause like everyone loved watching.”
Man: “I really need to go to our happy hours more often.”
Woman: “Well, you are going to the staff retreat next week, right?”
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A real-life spy movie? Or fans of Nissan?
Waiting at the red light at Sixth Street and Maine Avenue SW:
Four guys in their mid-20’s are chatting and laughing in their car with the radio playing loudly. With the light still red one yells, “Oh shit, it’s a Sentra!” The radio goes off and the car runs the red light with squealing tires.
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The case is practically solved
On the sidewalk near Dupont Circle:
A young woman is talking loudly on a cell phone: “Oh did I tell you my dad’s car was broken into? Yeah. But get this, the best thing is, we know the thief was a liberal. He left the copy of George Bush’s biography in the backseat.”
