Photo by Danielle Lucey
If there are two groups that bother adult D.C. residents the most, it would have to be tourists and teenagers. By the transitive property, no class of person should be more infuriating than the teenaged tourist. And on a recent class trip to the Lincoln Memorial, a pair of these young numbskulls didn’t disappoint.
Overheard of the Week
Reflecting pool, just east of the Lincoln Memorial
A girl, about 15 or 16, stands on the edge of the reflecting pool and snaps a picture with her iPhone. She turns to her classmates in their matching YOLO t-shirts and starts shouting. One of her classmates can only be described as a 15-year-old Bieber wannabe.
Girl: “Hey, what is this? HEY! What is this?”
Boy: “I dunno. National Harbor?”
Further down the page, confusion over women’s health, Republican dating troubles, mildly offensive discussions of pronouns, and Fab Four impersonators. And don’t forget to send your juiciest eavesdropping to our special Overheard email address. Be sure to include the location, time, and context.
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Go home already
On the Metro about 7 p.m.
A couple in their early 20s are talking
Man (slurring): “Wait, I thought you were PMSing last week.”
Woman: …
Man: “Isn’t that what the ‘P’ stands for? PRE-menstrual?”
Woman: …
Man: “Soooo, this is just M.S.?”
Woman: “We need to get you home.”
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Yeah, exactly like The Beatles
Near Union station about lunchtime
A group of middle-aged tourists are hauling their suitcases down the street. As they enter a crosswalk, more or less single-file, one exclaims:
“Oh! We’re just like the Beatles!”
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Hey, Joe Louis is 137 years old!
Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day
Two couples are walking and stumble upon Joe Louis’ gravesite.
Wife 1 to Wife 2: “Louis…”
Wife 1 to Wife 2: “Joe Louis? The famous baseball player?”
Husband 1: “No. Joe Louis the famous boxer.”
Wife 1: “Oh.”
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And he probably has a Fedora in his OKCupid headshot
Farragut Square
Two guys walking through the maze of food trucks.
Guy 1: “Man this city is just not working for me. Where have I gone wrong with my life?”
Guy 2: “What you mean you don’t have binders full of women?”
Guy 1: “Yeah, fucking Romney and his binders. I’d settle for an index card full of women!”
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Pronouns
At 14th and Irving streets NW
A 20-something dude talks to his friend
“So, he’s a transexual. But like an activist transexual. So he doesn’t want to be referred to as ‘he’ or ‘she’, but wants to be called ‘they’ and he gets really pissed if you don’t call him ‘they’.”
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Must be intern season
Thursday morning in the basement tunnels of the Russel Senate Office Building
Two male staffers are talking.
Staffer 1: “Well, here’s to another day in paradise.”
Staffer 2: “Yup. Everyday’s a holiday.”
