Photo by Karon Flage
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Maybe it’s because it’s getting chilly or something, but a lot of people seem to have sex on the brain. Sometimes it’s a double entendre, and sometimes not so subtle.
Overheard of the Week
Outside the White House on September 30:
Two uniformed Secret Service officers have their vehicles’ hoods open for one to jump the other.
One officer to the other: “That’s a fine piece of government equipment you’ve got there.”
After the jump, more overt sexy stuff, state rivalries, and a number of bad restaurant experiences.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, too.
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Zing, or pot kettle black?
In an office in Maryland:
Girl 1 looks really thoughtful out of nowhere.
Girl 1: “I just realized I never go to parties anymore.”
Girl 2: “Yeah, well, you live in Virginia.”
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Salty
At Tallula Eat Bar in Arlington:
Woman in her early 30s upon consuming Benton’s Bacon for the first time: “Oh my God. It’s like bacon sex!”
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Attention Yelp!
On the patio at Zeba Bar in Columbia Heights:
Two mid-20s women are discussing places to eat: “There’s a really good Thai restaurant there, but I had to go to the hospital the last time I went there.”
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Way to salvage the situation
Friday evening at a cafe in Dupont:
A couple is sitting at a table, clearly having a gritty break-up conversation.
Guy: “I just don’t love you anymore.”
(His soon to be ex-girlfriend is fighting back sobs.)
A 20-something guy at the next table bursts into laughter, and the couple looks at him in horror.
Other guy, realizing his faux pas, holds up his phone so they can both see the screen: “Oh my God. I’m sorry. It’s just, my bro sent a phone … thing.”
Then to the crying girl: “Don’t worry, you’re hotter than him.”
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Time to leave
Waiting at a travel agent’s office:
Another agent on the phone: “Yes, I heard you say ‘Canada,’ but is that with one ‘N’ or two?
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Some things are better left unsaid, especially in public
Outside, walking near the Convention Center:
Twenty-something woman talking loudly on the phone: “We’ll have to get ten guys so that we’re covered. That way we can all have se…”
(Trails off when she realized how loud she was talking.)
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Bus drivers are helpful
On the 54 bus going north on 14th Street:
Rider trying to type on his phone, speaking to the bus driver: “How do you spell ‘get’? ‘G,’ ‘I,’ what?”
Bus driver: “‘E,’ ‘T.'”
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Uh, what?
On Florida Avenue near Shaw’s Tavern as the Art All Night Expo begins to let out:
Twenty-something guy to another: “Dude, that’s gayer than Christmas.”
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And finally, these kids are awesome
Two eight-year-olds Wednesday in Tenleytown during an after-school carpool:
Child 1: “What is your mom’s favorite grape for wine?”
Child 2: “My mom doesn’t drink wine.”
Child 1: “WHAT??!! What parent doesn’t drink wine?!”
