“Do you Hailo? Hailo KNOWS DC.”

Thus begins a claim in a press release sent out by a taxi dispatch app company Hailo to promote a new advertisement “filmed in D.C., starring all people from D.C., [and] featuring incredible local artist, D.C. EDM producer Rex Riot. “

“We know the schools, the bars, the sports teams, the shopping meccas, THE places to go, see and be seen – and we know how to get there,” a description on the video reads. “Do you? Hailo is here to help.”

While help is always appreciated, that’s a mighty big statement to make for a one-minute advertisement, Hailo. Let’s turn to the video to see if it pans out.

0-13 seconds: Sure, I guess some people do sleep until 10:53 a.m. in D.C. and then run out the door to get a cab.
14-23 seconds: OK, yeah, people do shop in Georgetown.
24-34 seconds: Uh, oh. The sports team Hailo selected is the Washington football team. We know this because one person is wearing a sweater with its racist name on it and the other is wearing a jacket that features the racist mascot. Does Hailo know that the D.C. Council just passed a resolution condemning the name? Is that something it knows?
35-end: Yup, people do dress up and go to U Street NW for a night out.

But does Hailo not know that there are other quadrants of the city beyond the Northwest? We know that, Hailo.