Photo by Alan Zilberman.
By DCist contributor Alan Zilberman.
Georgetown is known for its high-end fashion boutiques and it’s frou-frou restaurants, yet there are few spots on the M Street drag that are affordable and totally worth a visit. In fact, I’m not even sure why I’m writing about Thunder Burger, since it’s a hidden Georgetown gem. The burgers are excellent, the fries are crunchy, and the beer selection is diverse (they have DC Brau’s On the Wings of Armageddon on tap). While the bathroom includes some strange features—some of them truly mind-boggling—its thoughtful design will offer comfort for those looking for a reprieve from Georgetown’s nonstop hustle.
+6 for private stall compartments: I completely agree with George Constanza on this one: Stall doors should come all the way down to the floor, and the bathrooms at Thunder Burger go a step further. Not only do they have long doors, they are completely separate from the rest of the bathroom. In effect, the stall is a cozy, welcoming nook wherein you can defecate peacefully. Sure, the concession to this privacy is the occasional knock on the door or perhaps a brief juggle of the lock, but it’s part of the social contract we all must accept.
-4 for location: The bathroom in Thunder Burger is located on the second floor of the restaurant. I’m a hard-liner on this one: bathrooms should always be on the ground floor of a drinking/eating establishment. Unless, of course, there are bathrooms are every floor, in which case I welcome the plethora of facilities. An upstairs bathroom will lead to disaster during the bar’s closing hours. Drunks already have late night issues with their search for the facilities, so a staircase compounds the difficulty of their journey exponentially.
+3 for bizarre art: Before the private stall, there is a small room with a sink and a single urinal. On the wall opposite the sink, there is a large mural of the queen of hearts playing card, with two noteworthy features. The two women are a cross between conjoined twins and vintage pin-up posters, and they literally have purple flowers sticking out of their assholes. Heteronormativity be damned, people from all walks of life will be perplexed by art that’s inoffensively scatological and Dali-esque.
-2 for an inappropriate mirror: As much as I enjoy the private stall compartment, it still has a floor-to-ceiling mirror that resides immediately behind the toilet. To what end does that mirror serve? Do I want to check myself out immediately after I peer into the bowl just so I can see my nonverbal reaction to the shit I just left? Of course not. Note: at least there is not a floor-to-ceiling mirror on the wall opposite the toilet. That would earn Thunder Burger negative infinity points, and my eternal scorn.
+1 for an abundant paper towel supply: I prefer high-end hand driers over paper towels because of the sheer novelty of the technology. Paper towels are better than an ineffective hand dryer—more on that later—as long as the paper towels are ample. Instead of the cumbersome dispensers, Thunder Burger has stacks of paper towels. Howard Hughes would have no problem with this bathroom: He could easily dry his hands and have plenty of paper towels to spare for the door handle.
-2 for strip club lighting: The bathroom in Thunder Burger is dimly lit. It’s like walking through a nightclub or something, except this is the place where patrons relieve themselves. Not even the sink features an adequate light source, so it’s as if the owners are trying to hide something in the darkness. I like my bathrooms with harsh, sterile lighting. There is nothing to hide that way, and how else will I know if someone has peed all over the floor?
Overall score: +2. This is a funky bathroom that allows introspection during moments of genuine privacy. It is imperfect, but the facilities are good enough for those who regret ordering that ostentatious gourmet burger for $23.
