Photo by ep_jhu
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
It’s Friday. For most of us with office jobs, that means we’re done for the week. Work’s tough, there’s always a lot to get finished, but you have to do it. Or do you?
Overheard of the Week
Outside the L’Enfant Plaza Metro station:
Approximately four-year old daughter: “Why are you going to work if you don’t like it?”
Father: “Sometimes when you’re a grownup, you have to do jobs you don’t like to do.”
Daughter: “That’s stupid.” (Looks at her dad like he’s crazy)
After the jump, hard parenting, natural phenomena, and fun conversations.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, too.
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Parenting is hard
At 11th and U Streets NW:
Two co-workers in their late 30s are talking about holiday gift giving. One is a dad and mentions his 11-year-old daughter, the other is single.
Dad co-worker: “Yeah, my wife and I, we’re debating what kind of tablet to get Katie. Android seems cheaper, but all her friends have iPads.”
Techie co-worker: “Just stick to Android. There’s really no fundamental difference, and she’ll destroy it in a couple months anyway.”
Dad: “Yeah, we’ll have to see. She was really insistent on an iPad.”
Techie: “You may have a bigger dick than I do, but I definitely know more about computers.”
Dad, laughing: “Yeah, I really wouldn’t know…”
Techie: “Of course you would say that.”
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Maybe we need a weather dictionary
A group of people are leaving the November 29 Caps game, heading to their cars:
Guy 1: “Man, it feels January or February already!”
Guy 2: “It’s never this cold in November. I heard it is going to be a bad winter.”
Woman: “Oh no! It’s another Armageddon!”
Everyone: (Silence.)
Guy 1: “You mean Snopocalypse?”
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Professional problems
In front of The Daily Grill in Dupont Circle at 8:30 p.m. on a Thursday night:
Two professional looking men in their late 20s are walking and talking.
Man 1: “… Well, then why don’t you get an intern?”
Man 2: “I don’t need an intern, man. I already have an intern, and he wants my fucking job!”
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It’s a miracle
At the Reflecting Pool in front of the Capitol on Sunday morning:
A 40s-ish couple is watching seagulls walk across the frozen pond.
Woman: “I didn’t know birds could walk on water.”
Man: “Yeah, they have webbed feet. You know, science.”
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C’mon dad, let’s try some loftier goals
At a coffee shop in Montgomery County:
A cute baby is saying “Hi” to every customer that walks by. Recognizing a teachable moment, her father asks her: “Can you say ‘Good evening. Welcome to Starbucks?’ “
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A way to kill a conversation
In Dupont:
Guy 1: “So you’re 34 this year, huh?”
Guy 2: “Yes.”
Guy 1: “Well at least you’ve lasted longer than Jesus did. Have you accomplished as much?”
(Awkward silence)
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Oh, to be young
Overheard at Vida gym on U Street NW:
Two guys in their mid-20s working out and talking about careers and applying for jobs.
Guy: “I mean, you guys did really well in kickball this year. You’re putting that on your resume, right?”
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Can you be more specific
Tuesday in an elevator in a federal building on Capitol Hill:
A woman and man are talking.
Woman: “Have you met Anthony before?”
Man: “Anthony? The one with the fingers?”
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Listen to the mohawk guy
On the platform at Metro Center two weeks ago:
A mid 20-something man with a Mohawk and baggy, M.C. Hammer-style pants turns to the middle-aged woman next to him: “Metro is representative of Congress.”
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On the Orange line at L’Enfant Plaza during morning rush hour:
A middle-aged couple is talking.
Man: “A lot of people get off here.”
Woman: “Where?”
Man: “Here at Elephant.”
(As always, all names have been changed.)
