Photo by Mike LichtWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Aside from just being bad at football, the home team seems to also be bad at everything else. Recently we heard that owner Dan Snyder is good friends with and favoring star quarterback Robert Griffin III over other players, RGIII was just benched, a restauranteur wants to buy the team, and the reports of locker room tension and disagreements between coach Mike Shanahan and everybody else keep coming out. This Overheard happened a few weeks ago, but these guys were on to something.
Overheard of the Week
Walking through McPherson Square:
Two presumably homeless men are sitting on a park bench discussing the Washington football team’s chances against the Denver Broncos.
Guy 1: “I don’t know, man. I think the [WFT] can win it, didn’t you see them win last week?” Guy 2: “Man, if the Broncos can get beat by the [WFT] they got serious problems. A team of three-legged blind dogs could beat the [WFT]. And dogs can’t play football, they ain’t got no hands!”
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After the jump, romance, cube farms, and Metro.
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Who says romance is dead?
On the Blue Line going west:
A couple in their late 20s is talking.
Man: “Where would you like to go for your birthday dinner?”
Woman: “Someplace romantic.”
Man: “Define romantic.”
Woman: “Someplace quiet and dark.”
Man: “Like a dungeon?”
They both laugh, she playfully swats him.
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What is this, Lake Erie-ist?
A D.C. resident drove to Cleveland and stopped to take pictures of Lake Erie. Walking back to the car, he sees two guys looking at the D.C. license plate that reads “Taxation Without Representation.”
Guy to other guy: “I guess he’s anti-IRS or something.”
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Joking with strangers can be hazardous
Walking down Wilson Boulevard in Arlington near the Court House Metro station:
A middle-aged man is talking on a cell phone as a young woman walks past, headed in the opposite direction.
Man: “The logo? You’re gonna want to make sure you get it in there real deep and to the left.”
Woman: “That’s what she said!”
Man, after telling person on the phone to hold on: “Thanks, but I’d probably break you in half.”
Woman looks horrified, walks away.
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Cue the phone etiquette brownbag
Overheard coming from a cube at a federal office in the Navy Yard area:
Co-worker: “Oh, yeah? Well, this ‘clown’ is hanging up on you!”
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Zing
At North Capitol & P Streets NE on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving:
A road was blocked, presumably, for President Obama’s motorcade. Cars were backed up on either side of P Street with no traffic moving all down North Capitol for a few minutes.
Cop 1: “I don’t know why they don’t let you open up your side of the street, he already made the turn down there. It’s not like he’s gonna change his mind and come back!”
Cop 2, laughing: “That’s why you’ll never make management.”
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Metro Closes Doors
At the H Street and Madison Place NW bus stop downtown:
Three middle-aged women waiting for bus after work are complaining about the unreliability of the system.
Woman: “Well you know we have the [national Christmas] tree lighting today. My friend works at Metro and she said, ‘Just don’t take the bus.'”
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Spices?
At the GWU Starbucks at H and 22nd Streets NW:
Two women, presumably undergraduates, are talking about a party the night before.
Girl 1: “I’m always like, ‘Blackout, rack out.’ “
Girl 2: “I know, right?”
They laugh.
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Hmm
At the Georgetown movie theater on November 25:
The 50th anniversary Dr. Who movie in 3-D is showing, and a woman dressed as the 10th doctor (David Tennant) sits down. Two guys sitting behind her ask her if they can get pictures with her. She agrees.
Guy 1 is taking the picture of the woman with Guy 2 when he says: “Oh thank you! You’ve just given my husband a total nerd-on!”
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And people complain when bookstores close
In the Corcoran gift shop:
Kid, holding up a pack of cards: “What are ‘D.C. cards?'”
Mom: “They tell you about things to do in D.C. We don’t need that. We have the internet.”
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