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Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

The holiday season is over, but the season for dragging loved ones to the theater with tickets you purchased as a gift is just beginning. If you take a gift recipient to a musical, make sure to explain what exactly that is before you go.

Overheard of the Week

At a December 17 performance of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum at Sidney Harman Hall.

Older gentlemen to his wife: “I didn’t think there would be so much singing and music.”

As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, too.

After the jump, kids these days, a Bible burn, and more.

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Kids these days

At the McDonalds in Chinatown, a police officer asked a three-year-old boy what he wanted to be when he grows up.

Boy: “Grand Theft Auto.“

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Just a little different

At a recent game between the Capitals and New Jersey Devils at the Verizon Center. Two women are talking while waiting to go through security.

First woman: “She comes to every game!”
Second woman: “So then is she Ovechkin’s girlfriend?”
First woman: “That or his mother”

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Take that, Jesus!

A weekend afternoon at a playground in Takoma. A little boy is talking to a little girl on the equipment.

Little boy to little girl: “If you just believe in yourself, you can do it!”

Little girl’s father: “Well, that’s a good start. The Bible says if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains.”

Boy: “Can the Bible do this?” (Does a fancy trick to jump off the playground equipment.)

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Instant karma

A lovey-dovey couple onboard a Yellow Line train push a blind man out of the way to grab the handicapped priority seating with their baggage. They snuggle and kiss each other every 30 seconds enjoying their intimate moment amid the Friday evening rush.

Lovebird female: “Oh, we’re crossing the river. It’s so pretty. What state is that?”

Lovebird male: “Well the next stop is the Pentagon, so it must be Pennsylvania.”

Blind man still standing directly next to them starts laughing.

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It does now

At the Great Steak downstairs in Union Station.

Man: “Does the Veggie Delight sub … errr … is that with chicken?”

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No, you’re hysterical

At the Foggy Bottom Trader Joe’s, many of the employees are sporting hats that look like a stuffed animal version of what is clearly a Thanksgiving turkey.

Older woman to employee: “Where’d you get those chickenheads? They’re hysterical!”

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