Photo by Victor BeltranWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Being a police officer is undoubtedly a tough job. Long periods of boredom followed by the occasional chase, arrest or worse. There’s probably lots of paperwork, and if the movies are any indication, lots of hard-ass bosses chewing you out for going rogue, but secretly respecting you for getting the job done. It helps to keep a sense of humor.
Overheard of the Week
Sunday morning in Chinatown:
A male and a female cop are standing on a street talking.
Female cop: “She kept saying, ‘What’s your status?’ And I finally said, ‘My status is about to be whipping your mother-f*cking ass!'”
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where and in what context, too.
After the jump, sexy times at the movies, an argument against statehood, and young people.
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Shhh, the GOP might hear you and steal your argument
Outside the John A. Wilson Building on January 31 around lunchtime:
Male and female tourist walking past the building stop to read the sign about D.C. Statehood and the amount of federal tax dollars paid by D.C. residents.
They pause for a few minutes, and then the woman says, sounding somewhat appalled at the thought, “The thing is that if D.C. becomes a state, it will mess up all the numbers! There will be 51!”
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Light conversation
A couple clearly on a first date walking on Barracks Row :
Him: “I really love Schindler’s List.”
Her: “Oh yeah. Me too. Big fan.”
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Taking a page from the D.C. city government here
In Farragut Square:
A man is on his phone walking: “Yeah, well, I was convicted of Grand Theft Auto in 2009. I didn’t do it. Well, I mean you know, I ‘did it,’ but it’s a stolen a car in D.C. It’s illegal I guess but basically accepted.”
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Attention entrepreneurs
On the free shuttle from Foggy Bottom to the Kennedy Center:
Two mid-20s women are talking:
Woman one: “Remember when we were looking for D.C. flag t-shirts for Shamrock Fest but with shamrocks instead of stars?”
Woman two: “Oh yeah!”
Woman one: “Well, I finally went to that convenience store in Columbia Heights everyone said would have them, and they didn’t. There’s really a lack of cute, themed D.C. shirts in this city.”
Woman two: “I’m really excited for flag day.”
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Thanks for that, Hannibal Lecter
On the Yellow Line during evening rush hour as a woman in her 40s or 50s was exiting the train:
Man around the same age: “I like your glasses. You’re pretty too. If I wasn’t married I’d sop you up like a biscuit.”
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More familiar with NFL Hall of Fame receivers
On the Red Line, during the massive delay this week around 7 p.m.:
Two clean cut males in their 20s are wearing jackets with a logo for a seminary on them.
Guy 1: “So, what was Carter’s first name? Was it Chris?”
Guy 2: “No man, it was Jimmy. Jimmy Carter.”
Guy 1: “Right, yeah. Jimmy. He was a good guy, but his policies were all messed up.”
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It all depends on your line of work
On the Columbia Heights Metro platform on a Friday evening:
Twenty-something hipster-looking man to his hipster-looking friends: “I don’t want to say that she was, like, mentally disabled. But she thought that ‘twerking’ meant ‘networking.'”
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And finally
On the Orange Line mid-afternoon on a snow day:
Two early 20-something girls are discussing a male friend who apparently keeps trying to impress Girl 1 so she’ll hook up with him:
Girl 1: “I wanna be like ‘I don’t care! I don’t want to hook up with you! If I had to choose between you and Rush Limbaugh, I’d probably pick Rush Limbaugh!'”
