Photo by Ryan BowleyWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Valentine’s Day has come and (mercifully, for some people) gone. It seems more people were complaining about the holiday this year, but some people did have love on the brain. Maybe too much.
On an extremely crowded 32 Metro bus on Valentine’s Day:
The bus driver is giving Valentine’s Day tips to passengers: “How many of y’all are going to use the excuse that you ordered something for Valentine’s Day, but it didn’t show up because of the weather?”
Later on, the driver is singing Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To Say I Love You” to the entire bus, and then takes a wrong turn onto K Street instead of continuing on Pennsylvania Avenue: “Oh, I’m so sorry everyone! You might think I’m perfect, but now you know — I make mistakes too!”
After the jump, holidays, Philly, and tough nights.
——
He gets sweet deals on mattresses and car leases
On the shuttle from Dupont Circle to Metro Center during Presidents Day weekend:
Three college-age men are talking: “It’s Presidents Day, right? For the current president. Does that mean Obama just celebrates being president?”
——
Sounds like a movie featuring Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes
Sunday afternoon in Dupont Circle:
Teenage boys are hopping one by one over a park bench. They start teasing the last boy who is having trouble getting over.
Last boy: “I’m Jewish. I can’t hop over shit!”
——
If I ever have kids, I’m using this all the time
At the National Zoo a few days ago:
A mother to her young daughter: “If you don’t get over here right now, I’m gonna feed you to the orangutan!”
——
Maybe it’s just impossible to make without tons of sodium and chemicals and MSG
At the Yes! Organic Market in Adams Morgan:
Young hipster-type guy to cashier: “Do you guys sell ramen?”
Cashier gives confused look.
Hipster: “You know, ramen noodles?”
——
Hate when that happens
On Connecticut Avenue north of Dupont Circle:
Three 20-somethings walk past.
Girl: “And then last month, I was drunk and had to pee behind a dumpster, but I was too drunk to see where I was sitting.”
——
Sports: a window into a person’s soul
In the Irish Channel Pub in Chinatown on a Saturday night:
Woman: “I don’t like Dick Vitale. He sucks Duke’s asshole.”
Man: “Wait, so do I.”
Woman: “Seriously? You like Duke?”
Man: “Ooooh. No no. I thought you said ‘dudes.'”
——
Maybe the future on TV isn’t here after all
At the Pentagon City Metro station within ten feet of a large House of Cards ad on the platform:
Person 1: “Hey, watch season 2 of House of Cards yet?”
Person 2: “What channel is it on? Have not heard of it.”
Person 1: “It’s on Netflix.”
Person 2: “I don’t know if I get that channel. Will check my cable TV company.”
——
Wait til you see it do a twizzle
At a Disney On Ice show at the Verizon Center:
Husband to wife at the beginning of intermission: “What’s that?”
Wife: “It’s the Zamboni. They use it to clean the ice.”
Husband: “See? I told you I needed a program!”
——
So it’s like Capitol Hill? Nats Park? Yards Park?
Outside Giant in Columbia Heights, around rush hour on a weekday afternoon:
A couple in their late 20s are walking into the store.
Woman: “…and then there’s Philly, and … well, Philly’s the worst. You know how in D.C., there are at least entire areas that are nice? Like, basically all of Northwest? Well Philly … [going out of earshot] … one big Southeast.”
——
Especially the part where it creates a black hole and we all die
At E Street Cinema on Saturday at a showing of Tim’s Vermeer:
Following a trailer for a forthcoming documentary about the Large Hadron Collider:
Man: “Looks cool, huh?”
Woman: “Is it based on a true story?”
——
And finally, Pablo’s posts are really catching on
Standing in line at Policy at 12:30 a.m. on a Sunday:
A group of early 20-somethings looks at the line: “Ugh. We could go find an abandoned warehouse somewhere and have fun. As long as we have fire.”
