Photo by Matthew Whatley

Photo by Matthew Whatley

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

People always say that relationships and families are tough — there’s a lot of work and compromise. And it’s important to think of each other’s needs.

Overheard of the Week

Sunday evening on the Red Line in Chinatown:

A family boards the train. The mom sits in one of the seats reserved for senior citizens. The father stands, with his butt a foot or so away from his wife’s face. Their six- or seven-year-old son yells: “Watch out, mom! You’re in daddy’s danger zone!”

After the jump, difficult times, zen, and scary Metro stations.

As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who was talking, to whom, where and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.

——

Sacrificial business expense?

Two girls in their early to mid-20s crossing Eye Street near Franklin Square Park:

Girl 1: “…and I wanted to say, ‘Well, Jesus wouldn’t have died for you if you were the LAST people on Earth.’ But you know, I couldn’t exactly write that in my expense report.”
Girl 2: “Yeah, that report probably wouldn’t get approved.”

——

Life is hard

Friday afternoon at the Bike Rack:

Young woman is talking on her phone to friends planning their weekend: “You’re drinking all day? How are you going to drink at night then?”

——

That would be a big problem

Saturday at a seafood place in southern Maryland:

A big group is talking about Russia annexing Crimea and a woman says, in a very concerned voice: “As long as they don’t take back Croatia!”

——

This is my kind of zen

Walking through the Sculpture Garden around lunchtime on Monday:

A college-age guy is walking by talking to two girls: “If it’s about pizza, it’s about pizza. I don’t force it.”

——

No time for love, Dr. Jones

In the Cleveland Park Metro station:

Two Metro employees are changing a lightbulb. One is on a ladder. An older man walks by, wearing an Indiana Jones-style hat, and says to the men: “Watch out for the snakes.”
Worker on the ladder: “I’m worried more about the rats.”

——

Joke’s on you!

Walking out of East Falls Church Metro station Friday around 5:45 p.m.:

Two women and a small boy strapped in a stroller are walking toward the Metro.

Boy, yelling: “I want out!”
Woman 1:”What did you say?”
Boy: “I’m stuck!”
Woman 1: “You’re stuck? That’s the whole point!”
Both women laugh at the boy’s comment and walk into the station.

——

I’m looking forward to the part where he shoots the rocket launcher

Lafayette Park, across from the White House:

The cops have closed off the sidewalk and moved all crowds into the park as a motorcade was about to leave.

Late 30s male tourist: “Excuse me, why is there a giant crowd here? Is it for the protest?”
Early 30s bystander: “No, it’s for Obama. I think. I don’t know, I just want to be here in case something happens.”

——

Hate it when that happens

On the X2 bus:

Older lady to her friend: “I wanted to go some place like Puerto Rico, but these damn planes missin’ in the ceiling. Hell no.”

——

Sherry and ham bar in the area: not a good sign

Saturday afternoon at the intersection of 7th and S streets NW:

A group of three 20-something guys are looking for a cab amongst the upscale bars in the area. Suddenly one of them says to the other: “Forget it. This is the poor area. There are no cabs here.”

——

And finally,

11 a.m. on W Street NW between 13th and 14th:

Woman in her early 30s talking on the phone: “…I just never thought I’d be in the position to have to consider conjugals.”

——