Photo by runneralan2004.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The weather is warming up and the school year is nearing an end, meaning the money-spending plague of tourist families is upon us. They’re here, they’re keeping the Hard Rock Cafe in business and they’re stripping our city of FBI shirts and stupid looking neon hats. At least we get some tax dollars out of the deal.
Overheard of the Week
On the Blue Line, midday:
Tourist: “Excuse me, which station do I go to for the Smithsonian?”
Local: “…Smithsonian station?”
Tourist: “Oh. Makes sense. Thank you!”
After the jump, more tourists, little kids, and innovation!
As always, Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
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Welcome to town, tourist
At the Ronald Reagan Building food court:
Dozens of middle or high school kids are eating there as part of a field trip.
Kid in line at the gyro place: “$2.25 for rice? Where are we, Aspen?”
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Might want to rethink your marketing campaign
Monday about 6:40 p.m. on the sidewalk next to the White House:
A man is holding a placard that reads “CIRCUMCISIONS KILL.”
Man to woman walking by: “Ma’am, would you like a penis card?”
Woman quickly moves away.
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If that’s what’s required, there will be no innovation ever in D.C.
At Big Hunt on Sunday night:
Two bros are talking in a booth. One bro to the other, talking about a possible start-up idea: “I’m not going to reinvent the wheel until I can afford a one bedroom apartment.”
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Optimism
At the National Air and Space Museum:
The museum is having a Red Bull-sponsored reception to celebrate the donation of edge-of-space jumper Felix Baumgartner’s suit and capsule to the Smithsonian collection.
In the theater, middle-aged man to another: “Leave a seat between us. Maybe some hot female will sit there.”
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Awww
Thursday morning on the 96 Metro bus:
Little boy: “Mommy, do you think they’d lower the driving age to ten?”
His mom: “Probably not, but it would be good practice for your letter-writing skills.”
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This is my new jam
At the Farragut West Metro station:
A tourist family gets on the escalator. As they ride down the escalator, the kid who is three- or four-years-old starts singing loudly: “Gotta watch my wallet! Gotta watch my wallet! Or somebody on the street will steal it!”
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Buses: never boring
On a 32 bus Wednesday night at Pennsylvania Avenue and 7th Street NW:
A car does a U-turn and the bus driver screamed and slammed on the brakes.
A guy on the back of the bus says: “I was about to roll on the floor and get myself a lawsuit!”
Same guy, shortly thereafter.
“Anybody on this bus got any marijuana?” And: “I like way you drive, lady. You be my getaway driver.”
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I demand a full refund
On the sidewalk next to the White House:
A trio of early 30-somethings are talking.
Girl to her two friends: “Yeah, but this is actually the back of the White House. That’s where they get ya!”
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