Photo by Victoria Pickering

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

Being a police officer is a tough job. You have crappy hours, it’s stressful and dangerous, and there’s a lot of sitting around. But chin up, you always have friends in the animal kingdom.

Overheard of the Week

About noon Thursday on Upshur Street NW outside Open Kitchen:

A 30-ish man is walking his dog while some cops hang out outside the cafe. One female older cop tries to pet the dog but the dog shies away.

Cop to the dog: “You don’t want to talk to the po-lice, huh. You’re just like everybody else.”

After the jump, Metro, tourists, and grumpy folks.

Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure you tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.

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Aww, Metro

On Friday morning on a Blue Line train to Largo at Arlington Cemetery:

Train operator: “We have a red signal due to an Orange line train passing in front of us … as always.”

Five minutes later still in a tunnel:

Train operator: “We will be holding momentarily for an Orange Line train to cross in front of us.”
Little tourist girl: “Tell that Orange train it needs to get out of the way!!”

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Good advice

On the Red Line leaving Shady Grove just before noon on Monday, April 21:

Female train operator in loud and disgusted voice: “Do not stick your baby in the doors. Thank you.”

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Jessica Simpson haunts us all

At the Wheaton American Legion during a DC Blues Society event:

A woman is talking to a friend while eating buffalo wings: “For the longest time I thought these were made from buffalo meat. I was really disappointed when I found out they were chicken.”

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He’s the quarterback for the Wizards, duh

At the Clarendon Whole Foods on April 14 at 6:30 p.m.:

Secretary of State John Kerry is grocery shopping. His Secret Service detail is positioned around the store.

First man: “Did you hear Joe Biden is here?”
Second man: “Huh?”
First man: “I heard someone say Joe Biden is here shopping.”
Second man: “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t watch sports.”

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That escalated quickly

At the Columbia Heights Metro station:

Four women in their young 20s are chatting about an acquaintance.

Woman 1: “She’s a sweet girl, like a really sweet girl.”
Woman 2: “Is she a whore?”

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Sniffles: a turnoff

On the Yellow Line Thursday evening:

A 20-something couple (guy and girl) are riding the train with multiple bags.

Girl reaches into a plastic shopping bag and pulls out an Emergen-C packet: “Oh good, you brought some of these.”
Guy: “Yeah. I brought a big box of condoms too.”
Girl: “Good job.”

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Coming soon to IFC: Petworthia

Sunday afternoon at Annie’s Ace Hardware in Petworth:

A kid asks his crunchy-looking mom for a candy bar in the checkout aisle.

Mom: “No, this food’s not really food.”

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Not ideal

Wednesday on a northbound 52 Metro bus at rush hour:

A woman in her early 30s talking on her cell phone: “So I asked him what the deal was with his girlfriend and if she was still in the picture and his response was ‘Sort of Sometimes.'”

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Religion is confusing

Thursday at 8:30 a.m. on a packed Red Line train:

A man and a woman are discussing the man’s rosary on a packed train.

Woman: “Is it scented?”
Man: “No.”
Woman: “Do you finger it?”
Man: “…Yes.”