Photo by Geoffrey DudgeonWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
With the many young parents in D.C. these days comes lots of young parent infrastructure: Parks, places for them to hang out, even yoga for kids. But being a parent isn’t always easy (we assume.) Sometimes you have to teach your kids important lessons.
Overheard of the Week
Walking near Metro Center around 4:15 p.m. on the day of the Police Unity Ride:
Two girls are dressed in what could be described as music festival or rave-wear: super short shorts with flowers on their butts, bare midriffs and very high white wedges.
The family of an officer who participated in the Unity Ride walks by.
Little girl: “Dad why are they wearing that?”
Dad: “Because they don’t have fathers.”
After the jump, more parenting, busy times in D.C., bros and tourists.
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Being busy is an epidemic in D.C.
9:30 a.m. on the G8 bus to Farragut Square, sitting in traffic backed up on Rhode Island Avenue:
Guy drinking Schlitz wrapped in the Express: “Well, I’m going to be late.”
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Wow
In the Red Loft at Nationals Stadium:
A yuppie 20-something in boat shoes, who couldn’t be less interested in baseball, is hitting on a girl. He responds to something she said matter-of-factly:
“I know. My mom’s like the number two person at TMZ.”
Silence ensued.
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This is a really fun one to tell tourists
Waiting in line at the Washington Monument:
A boy asks his dad about the marble’s color change one-third of the way up.
Dad: “They had a big storm last week, and that’s the high water mark.”
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At least they’re interested?
In the check-out line at the Target in Columbia Heights:
Target employee to woman in line wearing a “Hillary Clinton 2016” t-shirt: “So, let me ask you something. Who is Hillary running against this time?”
Clinton 2016 woman: “We’ll see, I guess?”
Target employee, totally serious: “And is she running as a Democrat or Republican this time?”
Clinton 2016 woman gives a blank stare.
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Because that’s the most important part
Sitting in right field of Nationals Park:
Two bros are critiquing the Nationals and their stadium:
Bro 1: “This park isn’t even that nice.”
Bro 2: “Yeah bro, they don’t even mow that shit with a Honda.”
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Happy Mother’s Day!
On Mother’s Day at lunch at Rosa Mexicano on F Street NW:
Mom, dad and daughter who is about 9-years-old are eating.
Mom: “Daddy cheated on me and left me for another woman, but then he called me on Thanksgiving and everyone said ‘Don’t see him, don’t go back to him,’ but if I didn’t you would have never been born.”
Dad: “And now we all love each other.”
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D’oh
At the farmers’ market near the Israel Street Festival in Fairfax’s Mosaic District:
Two people are walking through the festival which features many Israeli flags flying and people passing out flyers with info on Israel.
Early 30s woman to her male companion: “Wow, I didn’t realize there was going to be an Islamic festival here too!”
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A different word that starts with “j” and ends in “k”
At the Shepherd Park Elementary School soccer field:
Referee blows whistle after a kid is fouled hard. A 40-ish sideline dad throws up his arms and shouts: “Aw, c’mon! Nobody even touched him!”
Both coaches from the opposing team turn to him and remonstrate. One says: “Dude, it’s rec league soccer. There’s no place for that here.”
They go on the field to help the injured kid. One of the coaches carries the crying boy off the field, and as he reaches the sidelines, he stares at the guy and says: “Pretty good acting for an 11-year-old, eh?”
Dad shouts: “I was joking!! Who are you, the joke police?!”
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Maybe sometimes tourists are onto something
On the sidewalk at 15th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue in the morning:
A woman in her 40s is talking to a group of high school kids, all wearing the same school trip shirt. There are lots of joggers around.
Woman: “People in D.C. have very stressful jobs. That’s why you see them all out here running.”
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