Photo by Samer FarhaWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
D.C. is a very fit city, with lots of bikes, running clubs, gyms, yoga places, outdoor exercise groups, boot camps and so on. Folks are always talking about doing adventure races and 10Ks and marathons. But maybe people are too into it.
Overheard of the Week
Outside Ebenezer’s Coffeehouse near Union Station:
A young woman in running gear is on the phone: “I was in the zone and now I’m gonna vomit.”
After the jump, tourists, tour guides and other idiots.
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How to be cool
Near Mt. Vernon Square:
A man and woman in their early 30s walking on 5th Street NW suddenly stop outside of Silo, which is half full.
Man: “What a small restaurant.”
Woman: “It’s empty. We can’t eat here.”
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Aw thanks
On the Red Line after Pride Parade festivities:
Two 20-somethings are talking. The guy is complaining about people’s perceptions of him.
A woman reassures him: “You’re more like a bum, that does’t mean stoner.”
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Theory: tourists’ brains shrink in large groups
On a Vienna-bound Orange Line train at around 10 a.m.:
Train operator: “Attention large groups. You will not be separated from your group if you exit the train using separate doors. This is because all of the doors exit to the same platform.”
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Keeping us safe
Pennsylvania Avenue at 15th Street, near the White House:
One security guard to another: “I done dated and fucked ’em all.”
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Maybe tour guide licensing isn’t such a bad idea
At 17th and Pennsylvania on a Friday morning:
A tour guide is leading a group of tourists. She points to the Renwick Gallery: “And here we have the Hirshhorn museum.”
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Dude … think about this. Isn’t croissant a weird word?
Outside Baked and Wired:
Georgetown bro exiting the shop: “I love how this place is all drug related.”
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Baby’s first existential crisis
Afternoon outside the Air and Space Museum:
Little boy: “Dad, did you know you can build D.C. in Minecraft?”
Dad: “No, I did not.”
Little boy: “… Are we in Minecraft?”
Dad: “No, I think we are in real D.C.”
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Bingo
Morning on a Metro train at Foggy Bottom:
Two girls get on the train and look at the University of the District of Columbia ad across from them.
Girl 1: “You know, I’ve never met anyone who goes to the University of the District of Columbia. Do you know where it is?”
Girl 2: “I think it’s in Maryland somewhere.”
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Off the bridge?
On the Dupont/Rosslyn Circulator:
Moron 1: “Where does this bus go after Rosslyn?”
Moron 2: “I don’t know.”
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And finally, millennials
Saturday night on 11th Street NW in Columbia Heights:
Two early- to mid-20s hip types are walking and talking about the D.C. legalized marijuana vote campaign.
Chick: “The guy who approached me about signing the petition got super pissed off when I refused to sign it.”
Dude: “I signed it. I just didn’t care enough to say no.”
